April 'Fools'
by The-Lady-Smaell
Summary: Birthday present for Pokeyspot. Kakashi's teasing of Iruka has become even more cruel than usual. So, with a bit of prompting from Tsunade he decides to exact some revenge on the most appropriate day of the year. Cue random insanity and shenanigans.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is kinda awesome I'm writing this on my new phone. So yeah... I blame this brain vomit on Pokeyspot, she keeps me sane in this crazy, crazy world ^_^ Happy Birthday sweetie.

Rating: Um... M. What do you expect it's me.

Warnings: Um... See next chapter, I don't wanna give the game away.

Disclaimer: Not mine... I'm just borrowing them to tort... Er love them.

Dedication: To Pokeyspot, for being an awesome friend and partner in crime.

April 'Fools'

Chapter 1: The Setup.

The Konoha missions room was considered a sacred place. It was a place of levity, where lives were changed drastically with the opening of a scroll. A place where world weary ninja came after their gruelling missions to expel the memories one last time in paper form. It was a place of healing, a place of tranquillity, a place of...

"WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU CALL ME HATAKE!"

... Complete fucking lunatics.

"I believe I called you a weak, pencil pushing Chuunin who takes pleasure in exacting what little power he has over his fellow shinobi by boring them to death with tedious and unimportant tasks just to give yourself an ego boost."

The room fell deathly silent as 'Hatake' finished his speech, waiting for the inevitable explosion. Behind the long wooden desk the recipient of the man's cruel words stood gaping like a dying fish, tanned face flushed and brown eyes blazing with unrestrained fury. Umino Iruka was _ pissed. _

"YOU ARROGANT, SELF RIGHTEOUS, OBNOXIOUS, BASTARD!"

You could have heard a pin drop in the room and across from the bellowing man the silver haired Jounin just raised an eyebrow, as furious whispers (and betting pools) broke out.

"Nothing I deny, but at least I have reason to be, unlike you."

It was the sharp slam of door meeting with wall drew the combatants (and most of the rooms occupants) attention away from their verbal spar with a violent jolt. Twenty pairs of fearful eyes spun around and landed upon a distinctly unimpressed looking Tsunade, stood in the now open doorway (as the door handle was imbedded in the wall, wedging it open.) arms folded across her chest and foot tapping like an annoyed mother. It didn't even take a single word, all the Hokage had to do was raise a tawny brow and the room emptied quicker than a female onsen with Jiraiya present. As the noxious cloud that signalled multiple transportation Justus dissipated the blonde turned her unflinching gaze on the rooms remaining occupants and scowled. Not these two_ again. _

"What have I told you two about bringing your disagreements in here."

Kakashi just looked as bored as ever, his infamous Icha Icha book propped open in front of his face and his single grey eye lazily scanning the pages in front of him. The brunette however flushed deeply and dropped his gaze to the floor, mentally cursing just about everything about the silver haired fucktard in front of him. Mustering a modicum of humility the Chuunin raised his head.

"I apologise for my unprofessional conduct Hokage-sama it won't happen again."

There was a soft snort of laughter from behind Iruka and the unmistakable muttering of the words 'brown-noser'.

That did it.

Iruka saw red, growling he rounded piercing brown eyes on the copy-ninja, the dark orbs filled with enough fire to incinerate the other man on the spot. It was one thing to mock his status, but there was_ no fucking way_ he was going to lets some trumped up, self absorbed, perverted asshat of a Jounin question his professional integrity.

_No way in all the nine fucking hells._

Sensing that whatever she had managed to halt before was about to flare up once again Tsunade decided to step in, before she had to pay for more damages other than a dented wall. She rounded on the Jounin, amber eyes flashing dangerously.

"Get the hell out of here now brat! I don't want to see hide nor hair of you until at least tomorrow morning."

Taking the 'get out of jail free card' for what it was Kakashi gave a quick two fingered salute and disappeared in a poof of chakra smoke, leaving behind a very disgruntled Iruka and an exasperated Hokage. The blonde turned to the Chuunin and sighed.

"Iruka..."

"I know, I know, I shouldn't let him get under my skin. I just don't understand why he's gunning for me so badly, he doesn't act like this with Izumo, Kotetsu or any other of the desk staff."

The blonde just about resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the poor, dense little Chuunin. If he hadn't figured it out by now then he never would. That thought however brought her back to the original problem. Kakashi's 'teasing' had become a lot more harsh recently, she assumed it was because the man was becoming increasingly desperate to garner the Sensei's attention. But knowing Kakashi there could be some ridiculous 'underneath the underneath' reason for the sudden rise in animosity.

But still this behaviour, it wasn't on at all. It needed to be nipped in the bud before it got any worse, Tsunade honestly didn't know how Iruka put up with it. She remembered a time when the brunette wouldn't have stood for such abuse, he would have exacted his own brand of revenge.

Suddenly a smirk crossed the blondes lips as an evil thought crossed her mind. She was fairly certain that the 'old' Iruka was still around, he just needed a little _ prompting._

"I don't know why you let him get away with it, I remember when Jounin's used to quake in fear at the name Umino Iruka."

The Hokage's smirk widened as she saw the man blush deeply.

"That was when I was a child Hokage-sama, I would like to think I've matured since then."

Iruka grumbled and pouted making Tsunade mentally chuckle. 'Sure you've matured Iruka, _sure you have_.' she thought sarcastically.

"Maybe so but that child wouldn't let anyone walk over him like they were nothing."

Iruka's pout turned into a frown, something old and familiar stirring in the back of his mind, sending prickles down his spine. Nursing the insult to his pride he turned to his leader frown set firmly in place.

"And what is_ that_ supposed to mean Hokage-sama?"

His tone of voice was low, almost silken and it sent a shudder of delicious anticipation through Tsunade's mind.

_Hook. _

"Oh nothing Iruka, nothing at all."

The blonde purposefully left her voice airy and let the implication behind her words linger in the air. The brunette scowled and glared at the woman in front of him.

"You think I'm weak, the same as Kakashi thinks, don't you."

_Line. _

"I didn't say that."

Again the Hokage was outwardly calm but inside her deviously whirling mind, inner Tsunade was doing a victory dance. Things were about to get interesting.

"You might as well have. That DOES IT! I'm so sick and tired of people underestimating me, I'll show you, especially that condescending, one eyed wanker!"

_Sinker._

Tsunade turned her head away to hide the gigantic grin that was threatening to break out across her features.

"Well it's not my place to tell you how to act toward your superiors Iruka."

She finally turned to the Sensei, shit-eating grin proudly broadcasted across her face and in that second the brunette realised exactly what the Hokage had done and what she was giving him permission to do. A grin split his face, making his scar crinkle and his brown eyes glow with mischief.

"You're a manipulative bitch Hokage-sama, but I guess I should thank you."

Tsunade snorted "I have no idea what on earth you're talking about."

Iruka rolled his eyes in amusement as he made his way toward the still open doorway, his shift having finished ten minutes ago. Damn Hatake making him late.

"Of course Hokage-sama,_ of course."_

He was about to step out when...

"Oh and Iruka..."

The Sensei turned on his heel to face the leader of his village once again, shuddering slightly at the look of demonic glee etched across her youthful features. He was glad that he was the producer and not the recipient of that look, it was fucking scary.

"Yes Hokage-sama?"

"Make sure it's something the brat won't forget for a long, _long _time."

Iruka gave a swift nod and stalked out the room. He'd already concocted the outline of his plan, it was time to crack out his old jutsu scrolls. He'd show the asshole cyclops was it felt like to be weak and then he'd proceed to rub it in his stupid Jounin face.

Feeling much happier he made his way toward his apartment, noting the bells chiming the midnight chorus. It was as the bells finished tolling that the brunette realised the date and

Feeling much happier he made his way toward his apartment, noting the bells chiming the midnight chorus. It was as the bells finished tolling that the brunette realised the date and smiled at the beautiful irony.

April 1st.

Was there any better day to exact his revenge?

Grinning wildly he reached his home and quickly gathered the surprisingly minimal materials for his self appointed mission. Then under the cover of darkness he slipped out and disappeared into the winding streets ready to put his plan into action.

Hatake Kakashi wasn't going to know what hit him.

Across the village lying awake in bed Kakashi shuddered suddenly and sneezed, a feeling of doom settling in his gut.

~End chapter 1.~

A/N: Apologies for any errors the spell check on my phone isn't all that great. That and I've somehow injured my freaking hand and can't do much with it, so updates for all my fics are going to be a bit sporadic for a little while *Glares* Reviewers shall be showered with super-shiny-special-awesome (Damn Yugioh abridged corrupting me ) yaoi goodness.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: OMG THANK YOU GUYS! Such the awesome response for this ^_^ . I'm sitting in work messing around on my phone typing this, with my bad hand all trussed up.(Stupid tendons). So I present the next chapter.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. T_T

To my anon reviewers:

**KC: **Thanks for the review and the sympathy sweetie ^_^. Yes prankster Iruka is fabulous fun and I really don't know why I don't use him more often. Hope you enjoy the chapter.

April 'Fools'

Chapter Two: Revenge?

The next morning dawned bright and clear, the sun snaking it's way through the many side streets and back alleys, warming the ground as it spread. Slowly the village sprang into life, shinobi and civilian's alike rousing from their night of easy slumber.

Across the village in one of the numerous Jounin apartments Kakashi Hatake blinked awake and stretched languidly in his bed. The feeling of doom that had haunted him the night was thankfully now absent, it had taken him forever to fall asleep the night before because of it.

He frowned as he felt an unusual weight settled across his chest, but thought no more of it putting it down to cramped muscles from his mission the day before. It hadn't been particularly difficult (at least not for him) it had just been tiring and he was still feeling the effects now. Actually if he was perfectly honest he hadn't felt this weak and tired in quite some time, maybe he was coming down with something? It would explain why his chest felt so heavy, his head was throbing and why he felt so off balance.

Perhaps he'd ask Tsunade to give him a quick once over when he gave her the classified information that he'd left out of his report.

He gave a soft snort of amusement at that particular thought. Kakashi Hatake actually asking for medical attention? Had the apocalypse finally come and hell was freezing over?

Deciding to ignore his unusual ailment for the time being he began to complete his morning routine. Stretching once again he slipped out of bed and padded toward the bathroom intent on having a shave then a nice hot shower. Not really paying attention to his surroundings he pulled open his bathroom cabinet and fished out his razor and shaving foam. The cabinet slammed shut as Kakashi lathered his hand with the foam and he looked up into the mirror.

And stopped dead.

Mismatched eyes went very _very wide _e as he took in his reflection, a pale hand reaching up to touch the familiar but at the same completely foreign features.

His head reeling and somewhat afraid of what he might see Kakashi's gaze drifted downwards and froze as it focused on his chest area.

All around Konoha birds scattered and fled their nests as an unusually high pitched scream ripped through the village.

In another part of the village and blissfully unconscious Umino Iruka turned over in his bed and smiled evilly.

Tsunade had not slept well the night before, the anticipation at the stunt Iruka was going to pull had kept her mind constantly active and excited. So imagine the Hokage's disappointment when a hot-pink copy-ninja wasn't standing outside her office, frowning slightly she entered her office and took her seat behind the immense desk that dominated

most of the room.

Had Iruka chickened out? She seriously doubted it, the brunette was stubborn and commited once he set his mind to a task. Perhaps she was just being impatient but kami damn it she was so curious. Leaning a manicured hand against her cheek she let out a sigh, she truly loathed waiting.

Fortunately she wouldn't be waiting for long.

The blonde hadn't been in her office more than an hour when she heard a commotion outside the large window that lined the back of her office. Smirking the woman got to her feet and made her way down to the main entrance of the tower, knowing the fun was about to begin.

Raised voices echoed through the hallways of the Hokage tower and Tsunade found herself confused when she couldn't hear Kakashi's voice. There was certainly a lot of voices but none of them the distinctive lazy drawl of the copy-ninja. Feeling her good mood disipate in an instant the Hokage of Konoha threw open the main entrance doors and glared at the guards making all the noise.

"What the hell is going on here?"

The two shinobi's spun round fear obvious on their faces, Tsunade raised a tawny brow in waiting for the men's response.

"Er... Um this person was trying to gain access to the tower but they won't give us any information."

The blonde narrowed her eyes in confusion and looked beyind the two men. The indvidual in question was a young woman in her mid to late twenties clad in a standard shinobi uniform that appeared to be slightly to large in the shoulder area. She had a pretty face, fair skin and oddly spiked shoulder length silver hair that covered the left side of her face. The blonde frowned, she had never seen this woman before and Tsunade prided herself on at least being able to recognize the majority of Konoha's denizens and especially her own shinobi.

"Hokage-sama it is urgent that I speak with you immediately."

The woman's voice was soft and there was a hint of something familiar in the laid back tone.

"Who are you?"

The woman blushed slightly and looked away causing the long fringe to move slightly to the side revealing a familiar scar across a closed eye. Tsunade's mouth dropped open as the little pieces began to click into place and it took all of her professional integrity not to burst into hysterical laughter.

"Ka..."

The blonde was cut off as the silver-haired woman glared and scowled at her, the features clearly visible on the surprisingly unmasked face. The two shinobi gave their Hokage a worried look but she dismissed it with a wave of her hand.

"Would you two shinobi kindly escort this young_ lady_ to my office. I just have to run quick errand."

Kakash'si scowl deepened and the look in his... Her eye clearly stated that he... She wasn't impressed at being ditched. This was going to be confusing.

The two shinobi however stood to attention, the unmistakable blush of attracted embarrassment staining their cheeks. Again Tsunade fought down a laugh, it appeared the female Kakashi was already making an impression on her shinobi. This was certainly looking to be fun indeed.

The Hokage strode past her shinobi and out into the village, turning briefly to watch the disgruntled and clearly uncomfortable Kakashi being_ escorted _to her office. This time she couldn't supress the snort of laughter as she watched the silver-haired man... woman flinched everytime one of the men touched or even gently brushed against him... Her.

Tsunade shook her head and took to the rooftops, she had a certain brunette Sensei to talk too.

Iruka had really out done himself this time.

~End Chapter Two~

A/N: The chapters for this are only gonna be short so I can hopefully get them out quickly. But then again it is me... If anyone has any idea's about what I can do to torment Kakashi some more please feel free to share. Reviewers shall receive oodles of love and hugs.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Today we are here to mourn the passing of one of Smaell's muses due to lack of internet *Sobs*. Vithian was an awesome friend and psychotic muse, her inspiration shall be sorely missed.

She was so young, so beautiful... *Sniffs*

This chapter is dedicated to her.

Also big shout out to The-Akura-Sakura-violin. Who pointed something brilliant to me, which I totally overlooked. And Tsunadejr71 for feeding Boris some_ interesting carrots _Ultimate love you guys.

Warnings: I can finally put these in yay! Swearing, gender-bending, general character abuse, more naughty language, probable OOCness and situations of a sexual nature.

April 'Fools'

Chapter Three: Explainations

_Breep. Breep. Breep._

The alarm blared through the small apartment with the volume of a foghorn. In the small bed that dominated the majority of the even smaller bedroom Iruka turned over and buried his head into his pillow groaning loudly. He reached under the _wonderful, soft and oh so comfortable_ pillow and pulled out one of his Kunai. Without even raising his head he span the knife in his palm and plunged it down into the annoying noisy machine, It crackled and spat letting out one final gargled_ Breep_ before dying completely. Feeling satisfied with fulfilling his destruction quota for the day the brunette rather bonelessly lumped his aching body into a more comfortable position, wincing as the early morning rays lanced through his skull like hot pokers.

His head was absolutely pounding and it was all thanks to the silver-haired bastard. He had lain in wait for the copy-ninja to fall asleep in order to pull his prank on the other man, expecting for it to take no longer than a few hours. However the Jounin had thrown a spanner in the works by spending most of the evening tossing and turning in bed, seemingly troubled by some unknown force. Therefore Iruka had spent the better part of five hours crouched in a cramped, claustraphobic water tower overlooking the man's apartment. By time Kakashi had_ finally_ fallen asleep the Sensei was slightly soggy and mightly uncomfortable, never mind the fact that he'd barely had enough time to plant his prank. It's a good job the copy-ninja's defenses weren't up to much, (at least to trap expert like him) otherwise he wouldn't have stood a chance at finishing in time.

But all's well that ends well...

And this certainly looked as if it was going to end well... For him at least. The brunette truly couldn't wait to see the obnoxious asshole's reaction to his little_ surprise._ In fact the idea of seeing the man's reaction filled Iruka with demonic glee that bordered on perverse. And let's face it Kakashi had, had something like this coming for a long, _long_ time.

All it had taken to get the ball rolling was months of torment and a little push from the Hokage of all people.

He could have laughed at the irony.

He was roused from his musings by a loud, sharp knock at the door. Frowning slightly the brunette untangled himself from his sheets and quickly pulled on a pair of pants before cautiously making his way to the door. A visit this early meant many things and none of them were any good. Steeling himself for the inevitable ear-bashing he was about to receive Iruka pulled open the door and found himself bare chest to face with Tsunade.

The Hokage's face was contorted in an odd look, caught somewhere between surprise and hysterical laughter, with a dash of disbelief on the side. The blonde stood silent for a moment before cracking a smile and erupting into uncontrollable laughter. Somewhat perturbed and (rather understandably) under the impression that Tsunade had finally cracked, Iruka ushered the hysterical woman inside checking to make sure she hadn't been followed or that anyone had seen her disturbing outburst.

Closing the door behind him the brunette turned to the woman hunched over double in mirth. He scratched his scar rather nervously and cautiously approached the woman, taking care not to trigger any of her scary kage reflexes.

"Um... Hokage-sama...?"

Tsunade looked up at him from her bent position, her amber eyes gleaming with mischief. She struggled to catch her breath as waves of giggles rippled through her body, making her shudder like the older woman she really was.

"Ka...Mi Iruka... Fucking gen...ius."

Iruka relaxed instantly finally realising the reason behind her impromptu visit, a small twisted smile gracing his features.

"Ah... I take it Hatake has been to see you already."

There was no reply except for another snort of laughter and a furious nod of her head and Iruka felt the twisted smile grow into an evil smirk.

"How... In all the five nations... did you manage to pull that one off Iruka? And why aren't you a freaking Jounin?"

The brunette flushed in delighted embarrassment and rubbed the back of his neck nervously. The actual prank itself was an incredibly simple concept it was actually pulling it off that was the challenge. Luckily he'd had everything still set up from the last time he'd used this particular jutsu.

"Er... "

"Don't 'Er' me Sensei, I, of all people know that you're not as innocent as you seem. I do have access to Sarutobi-Sensei's_ special_ files after all. Now spill it, what the hell did you do to Hatake and can I learn it to deal with some troublesome council members."

Iruka paled at the mention of Hiruzen-sama's _special _files, knowing just how much blackmail the crazy blonde actually had on him. After this particular shennanigan was over he'd have to do something about that. However by the end of this Tsunade would have learned that his wrath was something she didn't want to incurand would wisely _lose_ said files. But that was certainly something he would consider at a much later date, right now he had more pressing issues at hand.

"The Jutsu I used is a modified version of the henge, nothing spectacular or fancy Hokage-sama."

Amber eyes narrowed in disbelief.

"I thought it was impossible to project a henge onto someone else without being in constant contact, that and using a shit-load of chakra and never mind that's on someone who knows what is happening."

Iruka's shit-eating grin reappeared and he felt himself swell with pride. That was the problem with the higher ranked ninja, they _always _overcomplicated things. Sometimes the answer was simple.

"The contact thing is easily solved, the jutsu is sealed into a tag which is then hidden under the henge. The tag is activated by the caster and once active it feeds off and recycles the recipients/victims chakra effectively masking and sealing it and only the caster can release the jutsu..."

Tsunade's jaw dropped.

"So in other words, Kakashi can't break it and only you can release him when you feel he's suffered enough."

"Pretty much..." He replied with a shrug.

"Seriously... _WHY_ are you not a Jounin?"

Iruka replied with another shrug.

"Never really appealed to me, I enjoy teaching too much. That and there are more than enough crazy, self absorbed pricks around as it is without turning me into one of them."

The Hokage barked a laugh and clapped the brunette on the shoulder.

"You certainly are one of a kind Iruka... Now go and get dressed so we can go and bring the brat down a few more pegs."

Not one to ignore a direct order from his Hokage Iruka quickly made his way to his bedroom, making sure to avoid the small mountain of clothes that was wedged behind the door. Grabbing the first clean uniform he found he quickly exited and ran for the bathroom, Tsunade may want him to be quick but there was _no way_ he was going anywhere without taking a shower. After last nights escapade he stank like stale water and felt as though he'd been pickled, yes a nice hot shower was certainly in order.

Twenty minutes later Iruka emerged clean and refreshed, only to find Tsunade rifling through his fridge pulling out the only edible food in the apartment. Upon sensing his return the blonde rose her head and swallowed the mouthful she'd been munching on.

"Okay if I have some of this?"

At least that's what the chunnin thought she said, it was kinda muffled through all the chewing. He just shrugged and shook his head in disbelief, it wouldn't really have mattered what his reply was. The blonde had her 'I'm the Hokage so I don't give a shit what you say' look on her face, so it was just easier to admit defeat.

"When you're quite finished Hokage-sama I believe we have a copy-ninja to torment."

Tsunade scarfed the last morsel of food and smirked.

"Lead away oh evil genius..."

Iruka smirked in return.

_Evil genius, I like the sound of that._

End Chapter Three.

A/N: Sorry this is so late. Had a busy week in work and all my free time has been spent helping my boyfriend and his friend prepare for a tag team card tournament (which they won W00t!). So yeah apologies... Hopefully not gonna be as long between the next update. *Crosses fingers*


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Gah... Sorry this has taken so long. Life has been a whole world of sucky (understatement of the century) recently and my muse has just decided to forsake me once again. Yay! If you couldn't tell I was being sarcastic. So Anywho... Apologies if this chapter is substandard.

Disclaimer: As usual the guys are not mine, I just like to mess with them.

April Fools

Chapter Four: First meetings?

Kakashi followed the two guards through the corridors of the Hokage's tower. Never before had he felt so exposed, so vulnerable and it was certainly an experience he never wished to repeat. It didn't help the situation that none of his masks now fit him, his slightly more _slender _facial structure meaning they just fell down. His stomach twisted unpleasantly as he felt eyes follow him down the corridor.

_Dammit! This was so humiliating._

The moment of distraction cost Kakashi dearly. He was still getting used to his _new _body and his balance amongst other things was shot to hell. One second he was walking or rather swaggering down the corridor (as that was the only way he could describe the way women walked) the next moment he was heading face first toward the floor. That was until a pair of arms caught him around his _new assets_ and promptly hauled him upright. Blushing furiously '_damn emotions being visable'_ he looked up into his saviours face.

"Hello there beautiful."

Great, absolutely, 100 percent fucking great.

Of all the people in all the world to fall into he just _had _to fall into Genma.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed at the honey-haired man at the lack of hands moving off his chest. Genma however seemed completely unperturbed at the death glare and even had the audacity to give a little squeeze. Acting on impulse Kakashi pulled back a snarl gracing the exposed features and quickly swung his hand into Genma's smug looking face. The slap connected cleanly and caused the man to stagger slightly from the blow, the senbon permanently lodged between his lips dropping to the floor.

The silver-haired Jounin stared at his hand in shock, he'd put everything he had into the blow. Under normal circumstances that would have been enough to put Genma through the wall, maybe even two. But that had barely damaged the man, in fact if he was being brutally honest he was pretty sure the other Jounin had acted a little on the dramatic side.

_Shit._

Just how weak was he? And more importantly how the hell did this disaster happen? His head was begining to pound with the complete overload of information and horrifying revelations. It didn't help that Genma had regained his composure and was sauntering back toward him.

"That's a hell of a slap for someone so _delicate, _please excuse my earlier indiscretion. Shiranui Genma at your service."

He bowed deeply and took hold of Kakashi's hand kissing the knuckles, it took just about every ounce of the silver-haired man's resolve not to turn and run away but he needed to speak with Tsunade so he grin and bore it.

"Thank you Genma-san but your services are not needed, now if you'll excuse me."

He snapped his hand from the senbon-suckers grasp and quickly walked (fled) down the corridor. Genma allowed a smirk to grace his features, he'd never been detered by rejection before and he wasn't about to start now.

"Mmm... Feisty. I like."

~o0o~

Kakashi practically sprinted down the corridor willing the blood away from his cheeks. He now had a lot more sympathy for anyone who had been hit on by Genma, in the past he would have laughed at the antics. But now having been a recipient his outlook had been drastically changed, was this how it was for all females? The very thought of it being true causing him to mentally shudder.

Finally he caught up to his guides and resisted the urge to snigger at the sheer relief that crossed their faces when they caught sight of him. It appeared they'd been so caught up in whatever daydream they'd been involved in that they hadn't noticed him randomly disappearing. It was certainly something he would bring up with Tsunade later. The two men looked sheepish as he approached and shuffled nervously from foot to foot.

"Miss, could you please try and keep up."

Ignoring the way he was addressed Kakashi simply nodded and followed silently, not trusting himself to be civil if he spoke. Honestly the way he was being treated you would have thought he was a missing-nin or something. It took him a moment to remember that these people didn't know who he was, for all they knew he _was _a missing-nin. Hell if he hadn't known himself who he was he would have been highly suspicious of his other self as well.

After another few minutes they finally reached Tsunade's office and Kakashi was able to ditch the jitterish guards. In their place however was ANBU but that didn't bother the Jounin, he knew how to deal with the black-ops if you ignored them they generally ignored you. That theory was promptly hogtied and thrown out the window as Kakashi felt the ANBU's concealed gaze pierce his back.

Seriously could his day get _any _worse?

Fortunately he wasn't kept waiting long enough to contemplate just how his day could've gotten worse as the Hokage chose that exact moment to appear in a small maelstrom of chakra smoke. A large smile graced her features as she spotted Kakashi and she took her place behind her desk and waved her hand to dismiss the ANBU

"So brat who did you piss off this time?"

The Jounin flushed at the bluntness of her question but merely shrugged in reply, who _hadn't_ he pissed off at one point or another? He was the copy-ninja of Konoha, he had a list of enemies a mile long both outside and inside the village. The thing was he couldn't see any of those ninja's doing something so petty and _childish_. It was frustrating to say the very least that he couldn't figure out who had the audacity to pull such a stunt on him.

"Well this is certainly a inconvenience."

_No shit sherlock. _Kakashi thought sarcastically, rolling his eyes and just about biting back the retort on his tongue.

"So brat what else has changed other than your apperance?"

"My balance seems a little off but I'm putting that down to my new... Um... Assets. Other than that I haven't noticed any difference."

A tawny brow raised inquisitively "Really? No differences in chakra?"

Kakashi furrowed his brows at the question he hadn't even considered any changes to his chakra, he'd been a little to freaked out about suddenly sprouting breasts to consider any other ramifications. Quickly he flashed through the handsigns for a simple substitution jutsu and gaped when nothing happened, he tried again and came up with the same result. Now almost frantic Kakashi continued to flash through the handsigns for jutsu's both simple and complex but they all yielded the same result.

Absolutely squat.

Discarding the use of jutsu the Jounin simply tried to draw on his chakra and was startled as he felt absolutely nothing.

Well that certainly explained why he'd been feeling so weak.

Tsunade watched with concealed amusement at Kakashi's predicament. She could fairly feel the frustration and despair radiating of the younger shinobi as he began to realize just how helpless he was.

"Is there a problem?"

"I can't access my chakra. It's like it's not there at all."

The Hokage faked a look of concern whilst internally laughing her ass off. Composing herself she spoke to the Jounin in an even tone.

"This is worrying Kakashi, without chakra you are as weak as a civilian. I hate to do this but I'm going to have assign you an escort until we figure out how to reverse whatever the hell this is. The only problem is who to choose..."

As if sensing Tsunade's thoughts there was a knock at the office door and both of the rooms occupants stared at the entryway.

"Come in."

The door swung open to reveal a flushed Iruka carrying a stack of paperwork, he ambled over to the desk and dropped down the stack on the wooden sutface.

"Here are the academy finance reports you asked for Tsunade-sama."

Kakashi watched as the Hokage's brain whirled furiously, her amber eyes darting between the two men and the Jounin found himself beginning to panic.

She wouldn't, not even Tsunade was that cruel.

Apparently she was because a wicked smile broke out across her face and Kakashi shuddered. She leaned on the desk and steeped her fingers, eyes zeroing in on the academy teacher.

"Iruka-Sensei I would like you to meet Leiko-san."

The brunette had to resist the urge to laugh at Tsunade's choice of name, it was utterly perfect considering it was the man's arrogance that had gotten him into the situation. Schooling his features into politeness he finally turned to face the rooms other occupant and found himself gaping slightly in shock. He hadn't been expecting Kakashi to make such a pretty woman, if he was being honest he'd been hoping the jutsu would make him look like a bit of a moose. Blushing slightly he bowed to the silver-haired woman and flashed her a winning smile.

"Pleasure to meet you Leiko-san, I am Umino Iruka."

Kakashi felt his innards squirm at that smile. He'd seen it many times before but it had never been directed at him and it made him feel all warm.

"Hai Umino-san, the pleasure is mine."

The Hokage choose this moment to interject and she turned to Chuunin.

"Leiko-san is staying in the village for an indefinite amount of time and requires an escort during her stay and I was wondering if you would consent to being that escort."

Iruka raised a brow and looked a little confused.

"Why me Hokage-sama, wouldn't a Jounin like Hatake-san make more sense?"

The brunette just about hid his smirk and continued to play along.

"Hatake is currently indisposed and I feel that a Jounin may seem to intimidating to our guest. You know the Village very well and are unlikely to be called away at short notice and as for the academy... Take Leiko-san here with you, she is great with kids."

If Kakashi could have killed someone with a glare the blonde would have been dead about five minutes ago. He hated the fact she was meddling in his affairs. The Jounin knew exactly what she was doing, he wasn't a genius for nothing and he deplored her completely unsubtle methods. However he was once again struck by the warm smile etched across Iruka's face and pushed the murderous thoughts down.

Maybe he wouldn't maimed Tsunade after all, if it meant he got to know the Sensei a little better.

Inner Iruka was currently doing a dance of demonic glee, he just couldn't believe how smoothly his plan was coming together. Mentally rubbing his hands together like an evil villain from the old movies, he turned to his unsuspecting victim a look of innocence on his face.

"If Leiko-san has no objections then I would be honored to accept this mission."

Once again Kakashi flushed and when he spoke his voice came out some what strangled.

"I have no objections."

And for the strangest reason the silver-haired man felt like he'd just signed his death warrant.

~End Chapter Four~

A/N: Tadah! It's done and yes poor Kakashi is unknowingly getting double-teamed. Heh-heh. The torture continues next chapter as Kakashi meets Iruka's pre-genin. ^_^ Reviewers get love and virtual cookies!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Eeek! Sorry for lateness, like I've said in my other recent stuff I've been totally hammered by work recently and I'm utterly exhausted both mentally and physically. But I shall persevere, especially since this actually seems to cheer me up ^_^

Chapter 5: The art of discipline and Pre-genin problems.

Kakashi couldn't stop the scowl that crossed his face as he sat in front of Iruka's class. The little children just _wouldn't stop looking at him_ and it was really beginning to get on his already overtaxed nerves. As if sensing his discomfort or the imminent demise of his charges the brunette stepped in and took charge of his classroom.

"As you can see we have a guest in with us today. Her name is Leiko-san and I want you to treat her with the same respect you treat me."

This was met with a barrage of hurried high pitched questions that made Kakashi want to bang his head against a wall.

"Sensei, who is she? Is she a noble?"

"Where is she from Sensei is she a spy?"

"How old is she, she has silver hair so she must be really old, is she using a jutsu like Hokage-sama?"

"Iruka-Sensei, Iruka-Sensei. Is she your girlfriend?"

None of the questions were answered in the chaos but the last one managed to produce a rather impressive blush on the tanned man's face.

"That is enough children. No she is not my girlfriend and as for the rest of your questions you'll have to as Leiko-san yourselves…. When you are free and not in class."

There was a groan of disappointment from the entire class and Kakashi glared at the Chuunin. Great that was all he needed a bunch of pain in the ass kids harassing him about a life he knew absolutely nothing about. Of course Iruka didn't know that but that was beside the point. As if sensing his class was about to start some mischief the brunette faced the class once more and stuck his hands on his hips.

"That is enough class. I told you what you need to know. Anyone who deems otherwise or tries to disobey my orders will have to deal with the consequences. Do I make myself clear?"

There was a look of innocence that colored the face of every student in the classroom but Kakashi could see right through it and he was pretty sure Iruka could too. He _had_ taught Naruto after all and had developed a sixth sense for when people were plotting mischief against him. And boy was it ever going off right now; if it had been audible the silver-haired Jounin was convinced that people in the freaking lightening country would have been able to hear it even over their Jinchuuriki's rambunctious rapping.

The class began as normal with Iruka writing his lesson plan up on the board and the class of horrors groaning as they saw it was yet another lesson on chakra control. Kakashi almost felt sorry for them, he remembered what a tedious subject it was to learn but in reality he felt sorrier for the brunette. It was an awful subject to try and teach, he remembered trying to teach it to his three brats and just how dense they had been, Naruto especially. Shaking his head he watched the tykes struggle with the tedious lecture but he could see that behind their confused faces there was a basic understanding.

Slowly but surely the lesson dragged on with the pre-genin getting continually more bored and restless, it was almost a relief when the break bell went. The class practically stampeded out of the classroom out into the fresh air. Iruka smiled as he watched them go and turned back to Kakashi, he'd remained silent the whole class just staring out the window seemingly lost in thought. If the brunette was honest it had disturbed him a little, it was all well and good the Jounin being laid back but there was something about his whole attitude that was all wrong.

He was almost beginning to feel guilty.

Almost but not quite.

"Leiko-san, are you coming outside for a bit?"

Kakashi started and blushed; he'd been completely zoning out there trying to figure out a way out of this predicament but whatever way he looked at it there was no solution. The only way he could think of was to find the culprit and somehow get them to reverse whatever it was they'd done to him.

"Leiko-san…"

Damn it. He'd done it again.

"My apologies Iruka-sensei I was just thinking… If it is okay with you I would like to remain here while the children are outside. I'm feeling a little… Overwhelmed."

Iruka laughed lightly, that was the understatement of the century. If only the Jounin knew just how much Iruka knew that statement to be true.

"As you wish Leiko-san. I'll see you after the break."

With that he flashed a warm smile and left the room, leaving Kakashi feeling a little flustered and warm. The silver-haired man shook his head; honestly this whole infatuation with the other man was turning him into such a sap. He sighed again; really he should be taking advantage of this situation by getting to know the other man better, but here he was running and hiding in a classroom like a child. Feeling utterly defeated he plopped his head on the desk resisting the urge to scream. It was then he realized that he wasn't alone in the classroom.

Instantly alert he looked to the doorway and saw one of Iruka's students standing there glaring at him, her face tattoos and fangs denoting her as a member of the Inuzuka clan. The jounin recognized her as the child that had asked whether he was Iruka's girlfriend.

"Who are you really?"

Kakashi groaned, he may have been able to fool everyone's eyes but there was no way he was going to be able to fool an Inuzuka's nose. This was about to get difficult.

"I told you kid my name is Leiko."

A dark brow rose and the youngster shook her shaggy head.

"Firstly my name is Inuzuka Surasshu NOT kid and secondly I don't believe for a second you are who you say you are. You smell all wrong."

"Wrong?"

"You smell like two different people."

"Oh and who exactly do I smell like?" Kakashi was intrigued.

The little girl stuck out her tongue "As if I'm going to tell you."

The silver-haired Jounin almost growled in frustration, it looked as if he was going to have to be a little underhanded here.

"But you're obviously smart enough to understand that I am here for a reason, why don't you indulge me a little with your brilliance."

Kakashi actually felt a little sick to be charming such a young child but she may be able to provide him with a precious clue to who the little bastard behind this stunt. So it would be worth it in the long run. The youngster blushed at the praise but still seemed a little wary of him.

"Fine… You smell like Iruka-sensei, the second person I don't know. Why do you smell like Iruka-Sensei?"

It was the silver-haired mans turn to blush, he smelled like Iruka? Did that mean the brunette was somehow involved in this big mess? Kakashi shook his head, there was no way that Iruka was involved in all of this, he may have been a bit hotheaded but he didn't believe for a second that the other man could be this vindictive.

"I… Er…."

"I get it, you really are his girlfriend."

"I…" Kakashi floundered for an answer.

"I mean that would explain why his scent is all over you…"

Dear god, could this get any worse?

"And why I can smell the feral-mones, I think my mom called them pouring off you…."

Kakashi resisted the urge to bang his head right through the table, his consciousness with it.

"But I'm telling you now _Leiko-san_ if you hurt Iruka-Sensei I'll hunt you down and feed you to my nin-ken."

And without even waiting for an answer Surasshu turned on her heel and stomped out the classroom while Kakashi tried not to blush to death. He'd forgotten how blunt children (especially Inuzuka children it seemed) could be; damn he really missed having his mask right now at least he would have been able to hide just how mortified he felt. Really this had to be the worst day ever full stop, even worse than that one time he got captured in Earth Country and nearly found himself much less of a man thanks to a deranged psycho-bitch missing-nin.

Right now he would much rather take the psycho-bitch again than have to deal with the crazy fan-girl Inuzuka. Mainly because he was pretty sure she was going to have allies.

The bell rang to signal the end of recess and slowly the children filed back in and like he had predicted there were many more glares being fired his way. It seemed the little dog-girl couldn't keep her mouth shut and now all of Iruka's little fan-girls (and oddly enough boys) were throwing him death glares. They were promptly followed by their teacher who immediately noticed the sour mood enveloping the classroom. Frowning he looked between his students and the Kakashi, just what was going on? Realizing that he had to take the initiative before the class rebelled and erupted into chaos Iruka took his place at the head of the class and clapped his hands together.

"Okay class were going out for weapons practice."

The cheer that rose from the students echoed through the whole school.

Ten minutes later found Kakashi, Iruka and the pre-genin out in the practice fields. The children were shuffling around their Sensei with an air of excited anticipation and were blatantly ignoring the stranger in their midst's. Kakashi watched with fondness as the brunette tried to usher the enthusiastic youngsters into lines so they could get started, finally the children sorted themselves and the lesson began.

"Now the most important thing about using projectile weapons is to always be aware of where your comrades are. It is vital to be constantly vigilant so you don't accidentally end up hurting your comrades. That is why you will listen to me and stay behind the thrower. Right if we are all ready, let's begin."

Iruka handed some kunai to Kakashi and smiled warmly.

"Leiko-san could you give these to the far group and keep an eye on them. If anything starts up just give me a shout."

Silently Kakashi took the weapons, the knives somehow feeling foreign in his hands and headed down the field toward the furthest group. As he crossed the groups the silver-haired man tried to ignore the wave of hatred being directed at him by Iruka's students but it was a nigh on impossible task and the Jounin couldn't help but feel a tad apprehensive about supervising a group that didn't like him all that much with sharp, pointy weapons. Finally reaching the far side of the field Kakashi groaned when he saw just who was under his supervision.

"Surasshu-_chan_."

"Leiko-_san_."

Animosity crackled through the air but unlike Surasshu the other children were not as subtle or friendly about it. One of the boys stepped forward and attempted to stare him down; especially difficult considering Kakashi had a good six inches on him.

"Go away you skanky bitch. We don't need the likes of you around _our _Iruka-Sensei."

"What…"

"You heard me _skank_, stay away from Iruka-sensei, he's far too good to be dealing with the likes of _you_."

The Jounin was genuinely taken aback by the insult and he was even more surprised to find that it actually hurt his feelings. The kid had no right to speak to him like that, he was only here doing what he'd been asked to do. It wasn't his fault he was currently stuck here or that he was so weak at the moment that he had to have an escort...

Suddenly Kakashi had a realization and it made him angry and sad in equal measure.

Firstly he was angry at Tsunade for manipulating him; she had put him here for a reason other than to embarrass him in front of Iruka. She had put him here to show him just how he had been behaving and how much it hurt those he was victimizing. Well it had worked and the Jounin felt angry with his Hokage for choosing such a harsh way to show him humility and also with himself.

The sadness sprung from Kakashi coming to understand just how he had been making Iruka feel. How could he been such a bastard to someone he liked so much?

He sighed sadly and ran a hand through his hair, deciding that when this whole crazy situation was over he was going to apologize profusely to the Chuunin.

The Jounin was so caught up in his thoughts he failed to notice the little foul-mouthed brat snatching one of the kunai from the pile on the ground.

"Hey you _skank_ don't ignore me when I'm talking to you…"

There was a whistle through the air and Kakashi looked up eyes wide as he recognized the sound, flying toward him was a kunai straight as an arrow.

Shit, he didn't have the reflexes or speed to dodge without his chakra, not in this body.

Doing the only thing he could think of Kakashi raised his arms hoping to deflect the majority of the blow. There was a thud of impact and the silver-haired man felt the warm splash of blood across his face, but the blood wasn't his own.

"WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING HIDEO!"

Iruka's furious voice boomed around the small clearing and the Jounin had to do a double-take to ensure that it was indeed the brunette standing in front of him with a kunai knife impaled through his hand. Kakashi didn't think he'd ever seen the other man look so angry and finally his sense of reality kicked in and he dashed forward.

"Iruka-Sensei… Your hand…"

"It's nothing really Leiko-san. I've dealt with much worse."

Kakashi felt himself flush in both embarrassment and anger, the teacher really didn't have to concern himself with his well-being. He could look after himself just fine, he didn't need the brunette to swoop in to save the day, he just didn't….

Oh god, he was starting to sound like one of his books.

"I-Iruka-Sensei…" The child that had thrown the kunai said in a shaky voice.

The brunette rounded on the child eyes blazing.

"Hideo…"

The child shuddered and began to back away in fear.

"I… I…."

"I don't want to hear it Hideo, everyone because of Hideo's appalling conduct this session has been cancelled."

There was a mass hiss of disappointment and the pre-genin glared at their classmate. Slowly the class made their way back inside followed by Iruka and 'Leiko'. Once back in the classroom the brunette quickly created a clone and turned to the children.

"Right I am going to go to the nurse's office. You better behave because I _will_ know, Leiko-san are you coming?"

Kakashi's eyes went wide but he followed without question, confused as to what the teacher wanted with him.

"I wanted to apologize Leiko-san, they are not normally that badly behaved."

"It is fine Iruka-Sensei, a-are you alright." Damn stuttering voice, stop it!

"I'm fine, nothing a bandage and some anti-septic can't fix, but what about you? You're still covered in blood do you have any spare clothing?"

The silver-haired man's eyes widened, shit he didn't have any other clothing.

"Um… No…"

"Ah… I see, well I'm sure one of the female teachers would have something lying around, we'll go ask after I've seen the nurse."

Kakashi blushed; he didn't want to change clothing especially into something that one of Iruka's colleagues had 'lying around', he had met the female staff of the academy and most of them were crazier than the Jounin.

Dear God what had he let himself in for this time?

~End Chapter Five~

A/N: Yay… Finished. Man that went on a lot longer than I intended… Ooops. Poor Kakashi he just can't seem to catch a break at the moment ^_^ and things are going to get worse.

Reviewers are awesome and shall receive love and plush toys!


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: This is actually my second attempt at this chapter, my first copy decided it just wanted to disappear of the face of the planet *Sulks* I almost had it finished as well. So yeah if this isn't all that great blame my stupid computer for eating the first (Probably better) copy.

Oh and yes I am alive... But that's another story.

Warnings: A bit of language, a bit of Kakashi torture y'know the usual ^_-*

April Fools

Chapter 6: From Venus...?

Kakashi stumbled as Iruka pulled him down the corridor toward the teachers' lounge his face beet red in embarrassment. Finally deciding enough was enough he dug his heels in and pulled against the teachers iron grip, abstinently refusing to move another step. The brunette felt the tug on his wrist and turned around, a carefully constructed look of confusion on his face. He'd had a feeling this was coming, Jounin were worse than children when put in difficult social situations. It had just been a case of _when_, rather than _if_.

"Is something wrong Leiko-san?" Iruka just about kept his voice steady.

"I...I... Don't want to meet your colleagues."

As soon as the words left his lips Kakashi realized how silly his protest sounded, he knew the brunette was only trying to be helpful but it still didn't stop him being ridiculously embarrassed over the whole situation. He knew that it was childish and petty, but he was _not_ letting anyone else see him like this no matter what logic Iruka threw at him.

"Why ever not? They don't bite."

The silver-haired Jounin's resolve crumbled as his brain suddenly seemed to melt into a pile of utter mush completely unable to come up with an answer. He mouthed like a dying fish while the brunette just chuckled at his antics, causing Kakashi to frown.

"I don't want them to see me like this, it's undignified." He eventually ground out refusing to meet Iruka's gaze.

If Kakashi had been looking he would have seen the mischievous glint in the brown eyes and known that something was amiss. However he wasn't and was therefore none the wiser to the other mans intentions, something the brunette was grateful for. Once again carefully controlling his voice to hide his amusement Iruka crossed his arms against his chest and replied.

"More undignified than being covered in blood and looking a mess? Please Leiko-san... If Hokage-sama saw you in such a state she'd have my head."

Fuck... Kakashi hadn't even considered that possibility. Although he hated this situation with an utter passion he didn't want Iruka to get in trouble, he was as much a victim in this as he was. That nugget of information didn't make him feel the slightest bit better.

"Emotional blackmail? That's a little low isn't it Sensei?" The Jounin muttered under his breath.

The teacher barked out a laugh and uncrossed his arms letting them hang limp at his side.

"Low? You clearly haven't worked much with children, sometimes it's the only weapon you have."

Kakashi huffed at the implication and looked the brunette right in the eye, his own eyes narrowing into a glare.

"I am not a child, _Sensei_."

Iruka laughed again, raising a hand and tapping the silver haired woman on the nose playfully.

"Then why are you pouting like one?"

Kakashi flushed instantly, cheeks radiating even as his eyes narrowed further and mouth turned down into a scowl.

"I was _not_ pouting!"

The brunette didn't appear convinced and with an impish look on his face he leaned in close, examining his charges face with intense scrutiny.

"Really now, then what would you call it?"

Kakashi tried to reply but the words stuck in his throat, his mind had gone blank at the other mans sudden proximity. Instead he just stared into the chocolate brown eyes hovering mere inches in front of his own trying vainly to conjure something resembling an answer. The moments ticked by and neither person moved, the air between them thick with something indiscernible. Then as suddenly as it appeared the atmosphere evaporated into nothingness and Iruka backed away, slightly embarrassed.

The silver-haired man let out a breath and ran a hand through his bangs, not liking the sudden awkwardness. But within a second the brunette was back in professional mode and things were seemingly normal once again.

"Shall we then Leiko-san?"

Hesitantly Kakashi nodded and followed the teacher his mind whirring. Just what the hell had that been? He'd known that his feelings toward the brunette were not exactly conventional and he certainly never expected them to be reciprocated but in that moment it had seemed like the teacher had almost been flirting with him.

Surely not...

He was imagining things...

But the more he thought about it, the more it made sense and the more miserable it made him because Iruka wasn't flirting with him.

He was flirting with Leiko, a woman.

Hanging his head he continued to follow the brunette in silence, forcing down this newest wound to his pride. Finally the two of them made it to their destination and with a polite knock on the door they waited for an answer.

"Come in." A shrill feminine voice echoed through the door.

There was a moment of pause before Iruka opened the door and stuck his head around with a grin.

"Are you busy Suzume-Sensei? I need a small favor."

The woman beamed "Of course Iruka-Sensei, come in, come in."

The brunette pushed the door open fully and strode inside followed by Kakashi. The other teacher rose a curious eyebrow as she spied the other woman entering the room.

"So what is this favor Iruka-Sensei?"

Iruka scratched the back of his head nervously.

"Well actually it's not for me; it's for Leiko-san."

Suzume's piercing gaze switched to Kakashi and he could feel her weighing him up. Seemingly finding whatever she was looking for the other teacher smiled sweetly, eyes glinting with mischief.

"And what can I do for Leiko-san."

"Well we had a bit of an accident during weapons training and Leiko-san needs a change of clothes."

Again the mischief was clearly visible in the woman's eyes and Kakashi felt a shudder run through him. If there was one thing he'd learned it was that women were trouble...

"Oh is that all... Easily done, I was getting bored anyway."

...Especially when they were bored.

Kakashi gulped.

"Just give us a minute while I go and get them."

The woman practically flew out of the room, returning mere minutes later carrying a dress bag and more worryingly not alone. She was flanked by two other women both of whom had a manic gleam in their eyes. The youngest of the trio squeed and immediately hugged Iruka with vigor.

"Oh my god, Iruka-kun you dog why didn't you tell us."

"Um... Asako-san what are you talking about?"

"That you got a girlfriend silly..." The woman teased, still squeezing the life out of the brunette.

Iruka blushed; well that's what most would have assumed. Kakashi highly suspected that it was lack of oxygen over embarrassment that was causing the brunette to blush.

"S-she isn't my girlfriend..."

"Asako you need to let go of him, Iruka-san needs to breathe."

Asako pouted and reluctantly let go sticking her tongue out at the third woman, a dark haired, middle aged woman.

"Go suck a lemon Yumi-chan."

Yumi just ignored her enthusiastic work-mate and nodded to Suzume before walking over to Kakashi, grasping hold of his chin and tilting it to the side

"I can see what you mean Suzume, she needs a bit of work but I think we can make it work. She is certainly pretty enough."

The Jounin paled immediately and pulled out of Yumi's hold, shooting a pleading look at Iruka. But before the brunette could intervene the three women had swooped and grabbed hold of him dragging him into a corner of the room.

Iruka watched as Kakashi was manhandled into the corner and bit back a chuckle. He knew he shouldn't take too much pleasure in the Jounin's torment but it was hard not to feel any kind of glee seeing the obnoxious ass so far out of his element. The brunette let his mind wander over the events of the day, certainly things hadn't gone like he'd expected and that was mainly due to the silver haired pain in his ass.

If he really thought about it Kakashi hadn't acted at all like he was used to, in fact other than the odd bouts of melancholy he'd actually been rather pleasant to be around.

This caused Iruka to frown, since when did he _like_ Kakashi's company?

The lack of sleep was clearly catching up with him.

Shaking his head of his disconcerting thoughts the brunette turned his attention back to the corner his charge had been manhandled into. It had been quardened off with a blind and if Iruka's hearing wasn't misleading him Kakashi was not having a fun time being prodded and poked by the other women. In fact he could tell that the Jounin was clearly miserable and putting up a hell of a fight if the 'leave my breasts alone!' was anything to go by.

Deciding that he should probably step in the teacher called out.

"Is everything okay?"

There was a hastily shouted 'No' which was quickly muffled and a furious hiss of whispers between the three women. After a few seconds Asako poked her head out from behind the blind and flashed Iruka a winning grin.

"Were almost done Iruka-san and you'll be able to see our masterpiece."

There was a muffled yet undignified squeak and another furious bout of whispering and Iruka rolled his eyes. Asako just chuckled and stepped out with a flourish.

"Presenting Leiko-chan..."

There was a moment of silence and behind the blind Iruka could hear a scuffle, it appeared Kakashi wasn't too pleased with his makeover. Another few minutes passed and finally the Jounin was rather forcibly pushed out by the other two women, scowl and death glare affixed to her made-up face.

Iruka stared for a second his brain screeching to a halt, he had been expecting the silver-haired Jounin to come out looking like a ridiculous doll. However Iruka had to momentarily remind himself of _who_ exactly he was looking at because they looked...

Beautiful.

A blush began to work its way up Iruka's cheeks as he stared. The silk kimono Suzume had managed to find perfectly accentuated Kakashi's pale skin while at the same time didn't look over the top or frumpy. In fact it clung to her frame, showing off the silver-haired woman's curves in a way that would have most men on the floor clutching their noses. The Jounin just glared at the floor resisting the urge to wipe the ridiculous face paint off of his face and feeling increasingly uncomfortable with the silence. He just wished Iruka would say something so he could get the fuck away from the crazy kunoichi.

It wasn't the brunette who was the first to speak.

"EEEeek Aww Iruka-kun has gone all red."

Asako squeaked in glee jumping up and down on the spot like a sugared up pre-genin, moving once again to glomp tackle the speechless sensei. At the young woman's enthusiastic proclamation Kakashi rose his gaze and locked eyes with the blushing brunette. Suddenly feeling as though he were in familiar territory Kakashi mentally smirked.

It was time for a little revenge.

"Uh... Iruka-san, I do look okay don't I?"

The silver-haired woman fluttered her eyelashes in a flirtatious manner and slunk toward him, extenuating every movement. Iruka, having just fended off Asako just spluttered face an unholy shade of red.

"I...Uh... You look very nice Leiko-san..."

Iruka mentally banged his head against the nearest hard surface, how had this suddenly back-fired on him so spectacularly? And _why _was Kakashi flirting with him? Because that was obviously what he was doing and Iruka couldn't quite fathom out whether or not he was uncomfortable with it.

_Of course you're uncomfortable it's KAKASHI! _

Shaking his head in attempt to clear his confusing thoughts and hide his blushing face Iruka sighed. All of a sudden this prank had become more troublesome than it was worth.

Kakashi however was suddenly feeling much more like himself, he'd... Well 'Leiko' had gotten Iruka to blush royally and all of a sudden the situations had been reversed and the silver-haired man was the one with the power. Deciding to see how far he could push it Kakashi linked his arm with Iruka's and smiled charmingly at the three females.

"Thank you very much for all your help. Now if you'll excuse us Iruka-san and I have _things _to do."

The Jounin carefully hid his smirk at the utterly mortified look on Iruka's face and quickly dragged the Chunnin from the room, amidst the incredulous stares of the brunette's colleagues. After the pair had left the three women looked at one another and smiled.

"Not his girlfriend my ass."

The statement was met with uproarious laughter.

~Chapter End~

A/N: So Kakashi finally gets a little payback and Iruka is just getting confused. Wondering what's gonna happen next? Me too XD.

Reviews as always are nectar for my soul lol.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Let the torture continue *Chuckles* Man Boris has been in a decidedly wicked mood recently. Ah well... It's good for something at least. But seriously I gotta stop feeding Boris the crack carrots and making him watch LittleKuriboh's Naruto spoofs… Anywho…

Thank you to everyone who reviewed... You all rock! *Glomps everyone*

Warnings: Uh... Yeah, the usual I guess, swearing, character tort... Er appreciation. XD.

Disclaimer: THE CHARACTERS ARE NOT MINE!

April Fools

Chapter 7: Two's Company...

By the time the two of them returned to the classroom the day was nearly over and Iruka's clone had quite effectively cajoled (or terrified) the children into obedience. As they entered there were quite a few surprised looks from the class but Kakashi just brushed them off, there were more important things to be concerned with.

Like the fact that their arms were still linked.

Iruka's clone raised an eyebrow at the two of them a mischievous look in the brown eyes. The original just glared in return and quickly detangled his arms from Kakashi's, flashing through the hand signs to dissipate the troublemaker. The clone poofed out existence with a smug look on its face.

The brunette turned to his class and folded his arms across his chest causing the pre-genin to flinch.

"Class dismissed."

Twenty odd pairs of eyes went wide in shock before quickly realizing that they had been given a get out of jail free card. There was a thundering of feet and within two seconds flat the classroom was empty, with a bemused look on his face Iruka turned to Kakashi and shrugged.

"I figured they'd had enough for the day."

Kakashi was hesitant to agree but he was more than happy to be rid of the hell-spawn.

"Yeah, I think I had too."

Iruka chuckled but it was a sad, hollow chuckle.

"I really am sorry about earlier."

Kakashi smiled softly and shook his head; the man had nothing to apologize for. His monstrous brood however had a lot to answer for and as soon as this whole mess was over he going to be having _words _with Tsunade about some discipline training with the brats.

Let's see how they liked having objects thrown at them.

Content with thoughts of torture and the torment of small children Kakashi just smiled mysteriously at the brunette causing Iruka to worry at what was running through his charges mind. Deciding it better not to ask he began pottering around the classroom trying to undo the damage that had been caused by his students. Finally righting the chaos and scratching his head nervously the Sensei coughed softly drawing Kakashi from his disturbing but pleasurable thoughts.

"So Leiko-san do you want to go and get something to eat?"

The silver haired woman blinked confused before her stomach let out a treacherous growl, causing her to blush. It had been a while since Kakashi had eaten, the whole bizarreness of the day causing his appetite to vanish into thin air. However now was a different story, his stomach was empty and grumbling at the mere mention of food. Iruka smirked hearing the growl and tried not to look smug, even though he was probably just as hungry as the Jounin.

"I'll take that as a yes then."

* * *

><p>The familiar sight of Ichiraku loomed before them, it's mouth-watering aroma a delight to the half starved adults. Normally Kakashi would have objected to the ramen stand, his tutelage of Naruto providing him with over-exposure to the noodle-based food stuff but at the current moment he truly didn't care. His stomach was growling like a starved animal and wasn't being overly picky about where it obtained sustenance.<p>

The entered and quickly found a seat, ignoring the stares and quiet gossiping left in their wake. Within a few minutes Teuchi had noticed his newest arrivals and wandered over, a wide friendly smile gracing his features.

"Iruka-kun good to see you. Who's the special lady, a new beau perhaps?"

Iruka flushed a little bit, why did everyone automatically assume the Leiko _Kakashi_ was his girlfriend? Was he really that much of a social recluse? He had to admit it was starting to get a little bit infuriating but in his usual genial fashion he waved off the question.

"Leiko-san is a guest of the Hokage Teuchi-san; I'm merely escorting her around Konoha."

The old ramen vender raised an eyebrow and smirked, clearly not believing a word that the brunette said.

"Of _course _Iruka-san."

Honestly who did the Sensei think he was kidding, he had smitten written all over his face and his companion wasn't any better. Ah, the throes of young love. Iruka rolled his eyes at the sarcastic comment, bloody meddling man was probably on the hunt for some gossip. Teuchi was the worst (and at the same time the best) for accumulating gossip and it was part of why Ichiraku's was a favored meeting spot, especially for the likes of Anko and Genma. The old man seemed to know _everything_ that went on in Konoha.

Ignoring the trickle of dread Iruka turned to his charge and hopefully smiled in a non-threatening manner.

"So Leiko-san, what would you like to eat?"

Kakashi contemplated for about a second before picking his usual of Miso, the brunette nodding and ordering himself a pork ramen. As they waited the two chatted comfortably, Kakashi surprising himself with the openness with which he spoke. As 'Leiko' he was finding it increasingly easier to open up to Iruka and was able to freely divulge information about himself without fear of repercussion. He had to admit that it was somewhat exhilarating to just be himself and at the same time not. It also didn't hurt that he and the Sensei shared quite a few interests and the two of them became entwined in a quite heated but friendly debate.

As the food was served the two of them stopped to draw breath and flushed realizing that the better part of an hour had passed. Iruka goggled, had he really just spent a good chunk of time debating literature and politics and other random nonsense with _Kakashi_? But he had to admit that it had been the most engaging conversation he'd had in quite a while. The brunette was aware that this could have been part of his charade but the passion and insight with which the transformed man spoke couldn't be feigned, so Iruka had already accepted it as truth. Maybe after this (admittedly self inflicted) craziness was all over he could try and reach out to the other man, it seemed that they could be quite compatible as friends.

Breaking apart his chopsticks the Chuunin shot a curious glance at his companion, the woman appeared to be genuinely smiling as though she had enjoyed the banter. It was quite a startling effect and had Iruka wondering, not for the first time, how close the features of the female Kakashi were to the male. If the male could smile like that... Then a lot of people all over the place were going to have their hearts broken. Shaking the thoughts from his head he thanked Teuchi for the meal and called out the traditional 'Itadakimasu' before digging in.

They ate quickly and in silence, hunger winning out over the need to converse and before long they had both finished their bowls. They paid Teuchi their dues and quickly left, starting to become somewhat uncomfortable under the stares from the patrons.

* * *

><p>"I love Ichiraku's but sometimes you can't beat a home-cooked meal." Iruka chirped happily patting his stomach.<p>

Kakashi smiled "I'm inclined to agree Iruka-san... But I've never been much stock in the kitchen unfortunately."

The Chuunin raised an eyebrow and just about bit back the teasing insult about being bad at something, quickly remembering that this was _Leiko _and not _Kakashi _he was talking to. Instead he grinned and tried not to look overly smug.

"Not to brag but I do a mean tuna sashimi, best you'll ever taste I swear."

Kakashi mentally moaned at the thought, he did apparently have a thing for seafood after all.*

"Maybe you could make it for me someday?"

"Yeah... I'd like that."

The two of them stopped dead and stared at one another, red erupting over both sets of cheeks. Iruka floundered in his head, mentally berating himself for saying something so _fucking _stupid while Kakashi did the same in his own mind.

The uncomfortable silence was abruptly and rather spectacularly broken by a loud, orange blob crash-tackling the brunette to the floor from behind.

"IRUKA-NNNNNIIIIII!"

Iruka froze as the familiar chakra assaulted his senses, his mind going numb with shock.

"Naruto? What the hell are you doing here?"

The blonde whirlwind who was still firmly adhered to Iruka's back pouted cutely, arms tightening around the man's waist.

"We came back, well at least for a few days... Ero-Sennin had some 'business' here. Something to do with a movie or something... I wasn't paying much attention because it was b-o-r-i-n-g!"

The kid continued to talk at a hundred miles an hour, still not allowing Iruka to remove himself from his grasp. Kakashi couldn't help but feel somewhat amused at predicament, Naruto was a force of nature in himself and the brunette had gotten stuck right at the eye of the storm. Finally the Chuunin seemed to have enough and flipped himself on to his back, crushing the younger boy beneath him. The blonde squawked and immediately loosened his hold allowing the older man to finally find his feet, a devilish look on his face.

"No fair Iruka-Nii." Naruto pouted once again "You're bigger than me."

Iruka chuckled "Well you know what to do about it."

Blue eyes gleamed impishly "You bet I do! I'm gonna get real big so you can't squish me under that heavy ass of yours!"

There was a snort of indignation and Kakashi watched the exchange fully expecting the brunette to lose his temper but was surprised when Iruka pulled the blonde up and into a tight hug with a 'Yeah, yeah' muttered under his breath. The Jounin felt a smile crease his face at the brotherly affection that the two obviously shared, it really was quite endearing. The two pulled apart and grinned as Kakashi felt inquisitive blue eyes fall upon him.

"Who's the broad Iruka-Nii?"

Iruka cuffed the jinchuuriki around the head.

"Naruto! Manners! Leiko-san is a guest of Tsunade-sama."

The blonde whined a little clutched at his head but both the brunette and the Jounin knew that he hadn't been hit _too _hard.

"Yeesh Iruka-Nii I was just asking."

"Well next time ask more politely."

The scene was about to descend once again into anarchy when a gruff voice called out across the street.

"Naruto! What the hell are you brat!"

Kakashi froze at that voice.

While under normal circumstances Kakashi would have been ecstatic to hear that voice, he and Jiraiya were generally on pretty good term. However under normal circumstances he was also a male and therefore not even registering on the Sannin's radar. Right now was not a normal circumstance and the Jounin paled as the consequences of his situation hit him like a ton of bricks.

Jiraiya strode across the road a good natured smile on his face and dressed in his usual flamboyant garb, unusually though he was not alone. He was flanked by what could only be described as an Adonis of a man, who looked distinctly put out at having to chase after some kid. The two reached the small group and glared at the youngest member.

"Naruto we're not even meant to be here, you can't just go gallivanting off whenever you feel like it!"

The man was stern but there was an amused look in his eye. Naruto glared back defiantly.

"Like I wanna hear you two talk about some crappy movie all the time and besides I wasn't gallivanting I came to see Iruka-Nii!"

A smirk crossed the old man's lips as he eyed the brunette stood before him.

"So you're the infamous Iruka? I've heard a lot about you... An awful lot in fact since the brat never shuts up."

The Chuunin flushed and bowed stiffly while Naruto scowled deeply.

"It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance Jiraiya-sama."

The Sannin laughed and clapped a hand on Iruka's shoulder, causing the man to judder slightly.

"No need to be so formal Iruka-san we're all friends here."

Iruka smiled weakly and stood straight again.

"And speaking of friends.." Here the old pervert shot a look at Kakashi, causing his blood to run cold "Aren't you going to introduce us to yours?"

The brunette scratched his head nervously, he was well aware of Jiraiya's reputation and even though he'd wanted to torture Kakashi this seemed a little excessive even for him. He'd wanted to teach the Jounin a lesson not mentally scar him for life and if he was being honest he didn't like the vibes he was getting from Jiraiya's 'friend'.

Beside him Kakashi edged closer to the brunette not liking the look in either of the newcomer's eyes and his survival instincts were kicking in once again.

He had bad feeling about this.

Really, _really _bad.

~End Chapter 7~

A/N: In the words of Peter Griffin 'Ta-Dah'. That seemed like a good place to leave it... Heh-heh! Let the chaos continue!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Woohoo! Dunno why I felt like announcing that but I did XD. Anywho... I kinda noticed I'm getting close to the 75 reviews mark. So like I usually do when reaching an amay-zah amount of reviews I offer a gift fic.

So whoever gets review number 75 gets a one shot of their choice, any fandom, any pairing, anything they want. (Not that anyone would really want it but it's the thought that counts right?) Just be aware if it's something I'm not familiar with it'll take a little time for me to get familiar with it. And if you're an anon-reviewer please leave your request in your review.

Okay enough blathering... On with the show!

Thanks to everyone who reviewed/fav'd/alerted! You all rock!

April Fools.

Chapter 8: Knowing me, knowing you...

Kakashi had often been perceived as many things; lazy, antagonistic and a royal pain in his enemies (and sometimes his allies) ass therefore he had never really considered himself a cowardly person. But man was he having second thoughts about that now, he could fairly feel his flesh crawling under Jiraiya's lecherous gaze.

"So Iruka-san are you going to introduce us?"

The Jounin felt Iruka flinch beside him and he could see the cogs whirring furiously behind the brown eyes, although for what reason he could be sure.

"I... Uh of course Jiraiya-sama. Um... Jiraiya-sama this is Leiko-san. Leiko-san this is Jiraiya-sama."

Kakashi bowed stiffly not giving the pervert an opening at all to look down the kimono top.

"A pleasure..."

"So _Jiraiya-sama_... You going to introduce me then?"

The silky smooth tones did little to hide the annoyance and all attention turned to the owner of the voice. In all honesty the small party had almost forgotten about the man who had walked over with the Sannin but they were quickly reminded of his presence. Jiraiya turned to his associate a wide grin on his wizened face.

"Of course, of course Kensei. You didn't give me the chance. Everyone this is Kensei Akihito."

Iruka looked at Kensei, a frown marring his features as he sized up the other man. Kensei was tall, muscular and handsome with perfectly styled blonde hair, perfect teeth and a chin you probably cut glass off of.

Iruka didn't like him.

He couldn't explain _why _he didn't like him, he just knew somewhere deep down in his gut that this man was to be detested. However he had been brought up with manners and knew he shouldn't base his opinion on his first impression, therefore knew that he had to show modicum of respect to this _person_ . Even if it did make his skin crawl in revulsion and stomach churn with some unknown emotion. He bowed politely to Kensei as he had been taught to a fake smile plastered across his face.

"It is a pleasure to meet you Akihito-san."

The blonde blatantly ignored Iruka's greeting and turned his attention to the silver haired woman who was still attempting to hide behind the brunette. He grinned widely and swept forward catching the 'Leiko's' hand in a firm grip, dipping to kiss the pale knuckles.

"A pleasure Leiko-san."

Kakashi's eyes went wide and he tried to pull his hand away but the man's grip was like a vice, beside him Iruka fidgeted uncomfortably annoyed by both the brush off and Akihito's boldness. The weird emotion twisted in the Chuunin's stomach again and he grimaced at the look of horror on Kakashi's face.

He was really starting to hate this creep.

And he was really starting to regret setting up this crazy-ass situation.

He had wanted revenge but he hadn't wanted to seriously scar the Jounin, he had enough S-class missions to do that without the brunette's help. Even crazier he'd actually begun to enjoy the others presence in a twisted kind of way, there had been some teasing but it had been kept to a minimum and Iruka found that Kakashi could actually be quite sociable when he chose to be. The question was why didn't he act like this with him the rest of the time? It was clear that the Jounin was able to hold a regular conversation with him it just baffled Iruka to no end as to why Kakashi would goad him so.

Maybe he got a kick out of seeing him angry and annoyed? Maybe he was trying to uphold his reputation?

Who knew?

But it was starting to paint a rather strange picture of the man who had gate-crashed into his life just over a year ago.

Shaking his head Iruka brought his thoughts back to the here and now, this was way too confusing for him to figure out at the moment. Maybe later when he had foisted the jounin back on Tsunade he could sit down and think this through logically.

Kakashi was still trying to free his hand from Kensei's iron grip and he was just about to do something drastic when rather unexpectedly Jiraiya stepped in.

"Kensei give the girl some room, she looks like she's about to swoon."

The broad blonde laughed and instantly released his hand stepping back.

"Wouldn't be the first time Jiraiya, you know the ladies just can't get enough of me. That's why you want me for your movie remember."

The silver haired woman just about repressed the look of disgust at the man's pompous suggestion and clutched the now free hand to her chest as though she had been burned. This man in an Icha-Icha film? He'd rather gauge his own eyes out than watch this prick besmirch his precious franchise.

Hell no!

Regaining his composure Kakashi narrowed his eyes at Kensei but the idiot seemed totally oblivious to the death glares being thrown in his direction and turned to the sannin a thoughtful look on his face. The jounin had to admit it looked very out of place on the man's face and couldn't quite hide the shiver of worry at any idea this moron might come up with.

"You're still looking for a female lead aren't you Jiraiya-san?"

As quickly as Kakashi had righted his thoughts they once again came screeching to a halt at the one sentence. Surely the lummox couldn't mean what he thought he meant? The very idea made Kakashi's skin crawl, as much as he loved his Icha-Icha there was a limit to his devotion and even contemplating that particular suggestion went way beyond his comfort level. Beside him he felt Iruka flinch, it was only a minute change in his body but he felt it none the less and it made Kakashi feel a little reassured that his reaction wasn't over the top.

"That is true Kensei… Did you have someone in mind?"

The smirk on Jiraiya's face completely overrode his question, the man clearly knew what the blonde was getting at and didn't seem particularly adverse to the idea. It made Kakashi want to balk and Iruka to smash the guy's overly smug face in.

Just who did this Kensei asshole think he was?

Thinking he could swan in and take whatever and whoever he wanted just because he had a pretty face and big muscles. The brunette had met his type before and they really got on his nerves, there was a fine line between confidence and arrogance and people like Kensei always crossed it.

"Ugh... Do you guys always have to talk business it's boooooooooring."

All four adults started in surprise apparently having forgotten about the teenager in their midst, admittedly no mean feat but not one of them was going to admit to that. The Sannin glared at his young charge and then sighed running a hand through his scraggily hair.

"Naruto I did say you didn't have to come along but you insisted, remember?"

The young blonde pouted and folded his arms across his chest.

"And sit bored while you go gallivanting? Hell no."

Jiraiya shook his head and shot a rueful grin at Iruka.

"I don't know how you put up with him Sensei, I truly don't. You must have the patience of a saint and a will of iron."

Iruka flushed at the offhanded compliment but still felt a trickle of annoyance at the comment. Sure Naruto could be a handful but he wasn't that bad really, all he wanted was a little attention and an opportunity to prove himself.

"He's not that bad Jiraiya-sama and you exaggerate my qualities."

"Yeah, take that Ero-Sennin!"

The brunette lightly cuffed the jinchuuriki around the head eyes narrowing.

"That doesn't mean however you can show disrespect Naruto and you know I won't stand for it."

The blonde looked abashed and muttered a quick apology under breath, rubbing his abused head. The action caused Jiraiya and Kensei to laugh causing Naruto to scowl and secretly flip a rude gesture toward his current Sensei just outside of Iruka's field of vision.

"Well as entertaining as this reunion is there are things that need to be done, right Kensei-san."

The older blonde nodded emphatically still leering at Kakashi.

"Agreed Jiraiya-san but what about my earlier suggestion?"

The Sannin smiled serenely a mischievous look in his eye.

"I'm sure we can discuss it tomorrow over lunch is that not right Leiko-san."

Kakashi froze, his brain momentarily short circuiting as it tried to process this crazy-ass situation. He felt his mouth fall into a gape but still no words would pass from between his lips. He knew what he wanted to say, he wanted to tell both of those lechers to fuck off and leave him alone but his vocal cords just wouldn't respond. Naruto chose this moment to rather spectacularly butt in once again, complaining whole heartedly and very, very loudly to anyone within ear-shot about 'Ero-Sennin neglecting his training'. In an act of desperation Jiraiya hoisted the youngster up by his jacket and flat out told the kid if he wasn't quiet then there would be no more training full stop.

The ploy worked and Naruto quietened down long enough for him and Kensei to say their goodbyes. The older blonde promising to meet Leiko tomorrow for lunch and disappearing before the other could refuse.

Finally alone the two just stared at one another in a minor state of shock before Iruka finally snapped out of it and regained his wits.

"Come on Leiko-san, we should go and see Tsunade-sama."

The silver-haired woman merely nodded in reply, still somewhat numb from the encounter.

The two walked side by side in silence toward the tower both lost in their own little worlds. Kakashi was feeling shaken by Kensei and Jiraiya's attitude, it had really thrown him off guard and he couldn't quite shake the niggling worry at the back of his mind. There was something off about Kensei and he couldn't quite put his finger on what it was.

Iruka was having an equally difficult time trying to sort out his own thoughts and emotions and he was beginning to acknowledge that he may have a _slight _problem. When Kensei had murmured 'See you at lunch' several different things had warred through the Chuunin.

The first had been anger at his pompous assumptions, a fairly easy emotion to control for him due to his extensive practice.

The second was a small amount of worry, he didn't trust Kensei as far as he could throw him and so was hesitant to leave anyone alone with him. Especially Kakashi in his current condition.

Beyond that though Iruka knew he was walking headlong into trouble.

The third emotion he'd felt was doubt. Kakashi hadn't spoken up against the lunch meeting so maybe he wasn't adverse to it? And it made the brunette wonder just what he'd done wrong to make the silver-haired Jounin prefer to spend his time with _that _rather than him.

And finally though he was loath to admit it there was jealousy. He had wanted to seriously harm Kensei when he had grabbed Leiko's hand and that was quite unlike him. But it hadn't just been his protective streak rearing its head, he knew that now. He'd resented the fact he'd touched her... him without protest from Kakashi.

That meant he was starting to get attached to the stupid silver-haired idiot as insane as it sounded and he knew it would be nothing but trouble.

The tower came into view and Iruka mentally sighed in relief, he could try and figure out his thoughts after he foisted Kakashi back on the Hokage for the evening. He was sure that once he was away from the silver-haired menace he'd be able to talk himself out of whatever stupidity his brain was concocting.

He just hoped he wasn't too late.

~End Chapter 8~

A/N: Grr... Not really happy with how this turned out. But it will suffice XD.

Let me know what ya think of my character tortu... Er appreciation. Heh-heh.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Ta-dah... Okay so I may have been slightly neglecting these guys at the moment (Something I'm sure they're grateful for) But fear not I have not forgotten them ^_^ So let's continue!

Disclaimer: They are not mine! Damn lawyers couldn't get me squat!

Warnings: Er... Foul language... Character abuse, the usual.

April Fools.

Chapter Nine: Meddling Hokage's and an Unforeseen Situation.

The duo reached Tsunade's office in record time; clearly the guards had been alerted to their coming and had allowed them to pass without incident. Iruka couldn't exactly say he had been happy with that, he was still feeling somewhat aggravated because of the Kensei situation and had been hoping to vent on some unfortunate ANBU. Admittedly it wasn't exactly professional but they were ANBU, surely they could handle a little bit of venting from an aggrieved school-teacher.

Shaking the rather colorful thoughts from his head the Chuunin knocked on the door and waited patiently for the woman to grant them access. He almost sighed in relief at this point knowing his ordeal for the day was nearly over and he could escape the confusing clutches of the silver-haired menace.

Beside him Kakashi fidgeted nervously and shot a worried glance at the brunette. He may not be the most _emotionally aware _of people (He was pretty sure he'd heard the phrase 'emotional retard' used on more than one occasion) but even he could see that there was something bothering Iruka.

Ever since the meeting after dinner the brunette had been edgy and ill-tempered. Under normal circumstances Kakashi would have said it was his fault but as he had barely spoken to the Chuunin since meeting with Jiraiya, Naruto and Kensei he knew that couldn't possibly be the case. Lips pursed and brows furrowed Kakashi tried to decipher just what could possibly be wrong but found himself coming up with a big fat blank.

Tsunade finally called out for them to enter and the two of them shuffled in the tension still thick between the two of them. The Hokage raised an eyebrow at the unnaturally silent shinobi her curiosity flaring wildly.

"So, how has today been?"

Her tone was light and jovial but it caused nothing but annoyance for the two stood before her and she instantly picked up on it.

"It has been fine Hokage-sama."

Iruka ground the out the words, hands clenched in his pockets as he tried to regain his rapidly diminishing professionalism.

"Really now? Then why does it look like someone has pulled your teeth out Iruka? I hope our guest hasn't been causing you too much trouble."

The brunette flinched and forced himself to relax putting on a strained smile. Beside him Kakashi also tensed knowing that Iruka's sour mood was about to be blamed on him, he also knew that Tsunade wouldn't believe that was innocent for a second considering his history with the teacher.

Damn life was unfair sometimes.

The silver-haired man turned a pleading look at the blonde, silently begging her to not add any more fuel to the fire. To, for once in her meddling life just _leave it alone. _

He knew he should have been so lucky.

"It's nothing Hokage-sama... Really... It has just been a stressful day."

"Every day is stressful for you Iruka, what's made today so different?"

The brunette glared daggers at a paperweight on Tsunade's desk not allowing himself to give in to insubordination. His day had been strange enough without adding yet another lecture about professionalism on top of it. All he wanted to do right now was go home, have a quick shower and then crawl into his cold lonely bed and ruminate on just how he'd managed to fuck up this golden opportunity for revenge so thoroughly.

Because somehow he done that, he couldn't exactly tell you how but he had fucked up somewhere along the course of the day.

Realizing that the Hokage was expecting an answer he gave a slight inaudible sigh and schooled his features into a semblance of normality as he prepared to lie barefaced to his leader.

"The children became a little _overexcited_ with a guest in class and I had to be a little more forceful than usual, that is all."

Amber eyes narrowed slightly, immediately spotting the diversion tactic for what it was. If Iruka didn't want to tell her then he must have a damned good reason and besides she had 'other' sources of information. As if sensing the blonde's thoughts shifting to him Kakashi sneezed, a delicate hand emerging from the folds of the kimono to rub away the irritation.

"Well if that is all Iruka-Sensei I suppose I should let you go about your business but I expect you to be back here bright and early to pick up Leiko-san."

The brunette nodded stiffly and fairly fled the room leaving Kakashi alone with Tsunade. She waited until the man's chakra signature had completely vanished before turning back to the silver-haired woman an unreadable look in her eyes. Catching the piercing look in his direction Kakashi gulped, knowing that the next few minutes of his life were not going to be pretty.

"So are _you _going to tell me what happened?"

Roughly translated from Tsunade-speak that meant _'Tell me what the fuck happened brat.'_ Kakashi gulped a little and scratched the back of his head nervously deciding that for once in his life that honesty was the best policy.

"I honestly don't know Tsunade-sama. He was fine until after dinner and he suddenly went all moody."

Amber eyes narrowed.

"What did you do brat?"

The Jounin held his hands up in an 'I surrender' motion, knowing that in his current state he really couldn't take any of Tsunade's tough love.

"I didn't do anything I swear... We ran into some... Friends after dinner and Iruka-san has been acting really off since then."

A tawny brow quirked as the woman stooped her fingers in front of her face.

"Friends you say... Just who were these friends?"

Kakashi paled slightly_ 'Shit...'_

"Uh... Just some people we both know."

The Hokage looked deadly serious, the very image of power and responsibility.

"If you're referring to the old toad then I already knew he'd snuck back into town."

The silver-haired man blinked owlishly mouth falling open in shock as Tsunade dropped the serious demeanor and laughed.

"You... Know?"

Kakashi asked before mentally slapping himself for being so dumb. Of course she _knew, _she was the Hokage for Kami's sake there was probably very little in the village, if anything that went unnoticed by her.

"So what did that idiot do to upset Iruka, I have a feeling that this will be a doozy."

The silver-haired man shrugged nonchalantly knowing that the blonde was going to be disappointed by his answer.

"Nothing, Jiraiya-sama was actually rather well behaved... More than I can say for his associate."

A frown tugged at the Jounin's lips as he remembered the obnoxious asshole and felt a shudder work its way across his skin in revulsion. Tsunade spotted the reaction and mentally smirked having heard the reports from her spies about the man, it looked as if they hadn't been over exaggerated. But of course she wasn't going to tell Kakashi she knew about Kensei, things were finally starting to get fun and she did enjoy watching the copy-nin squirm on occasion.

"Associate?" She prodded gently, trying too hard to hide her amusement.

The silver-haired man shifted on the spot.

"His name was Kensei Akihito and... Well... He was an ass."

The blunt statement made Tsunade chuckle.

"An ass you say... I'm surprised you two didn't get along swimmingly then."

The dark glower Kakashi threw caused a full blown laugh to escape Tsunade's lips and the Hokage slapped the table in mirth, the old wood creaking beneath her powerful hands. The silver-haired man continued to fume silently as the hysterics continued, he was nothing like that prick and had been extremely insulted that the Hokage had even suggested it.

"Relax Kakashi, I was just teasing you. I've heard the stories about this 'Kensei' so I know you're nothing alike. Different spectrums of the ass scale entirely."

"You have a scale?" Kakashi retorted in good humor, showing that there were no hard feelings.

The blonde nodded.

"Yeah... Helps me work out how much trouble all you brats are going to be. So let me guess what happened... Kensei was an outrageous asshole, made you feel utterly uncomfortable by pawing at you and when you all parted ways Iruka turned into Mr. Moody-pants."

"Y-Yeah... How did you..?"

"Hokage remember."

Kakashi rolled his eyes at the vague statement, if she had deduced that much then she must have an idea of what was bothering Iruka. Which was all well and good for her but it meant that he still had diddly squat. Maybe he needed another opinion on this? Or maybe, if he asked _really _nicely, Tsunade would clue him in.

"Hokage-sama..."

"I'm not telling you, you have to figure this out for yourself. I'd advise you head for home now before you get into any more trouble."

Kami damn it! How did she always seem to know what he was thinking? He made a small noise to show that the dismissal had been understood before turning and heading out the door. Watching the Jounin leave she felt a small smile grace her features, if she was right in her assumption then things were about to become very interesting.

* * *

><p>Kakashi stalked along the streets of Konoha deep in thought. As if reflecting his dark and confused mood, the sky overhead had become dark and cloudy, a crackle of thunder signaling the onset of a storm. Not wanting to get caught in the deluge he picked up the pace sprinting as fast as he could toward his apartment but even as this thought crossed his mind the rain started, soaking him instantaneously.<p>

When the familiar building came into sight Kakashi let out a sigh of relief, his wet clothes sticking to him as he moved. He just couldn't wait to be warm and inside, he hated the rain with a passion. Walking up to the door, happy thoughts of a hot shower dancing through his head Kakashi failed to notice one important thing as he attempted to open and walk through.

The door was still locked.

And consequently he almost plowed face first into it.

Confused he stared at the door for a moment trying to figure out what was happening as he fiddled with the doorknob. Then as a bolt of lightning flashed across the sky it hit him and he let out a groan of frustration, letting his forehead bang against the door.

Chakra.

His locks were keyed into his chakra.

And since that was currently off-limits it meant that he was essentially locked out of his own home.

Just fucking _marvelous_.

The Jounin knew that breaking in was a monumentally bad idea, he didn't do 'non-fatal' traps and even though he knew what they were, in his current state he wouldn't be able to dodge any of them. That was of course if he'd be able to break in, in the first place.

A shiver ran up Kakashi's body and he grimaced, he needed to get out of this wet clothing before it made him ill. That unfortunately meant that he was going to have to ask for help and at the present time there was only one person who knew enough about the situation to be of any use and probably wouldn't laugh in his face.

He just hoped Iruka wasn't still pissed off.

~End Chapter Nine~

A/N: Well that went in a slightly different direction than I intended -_-* Ah well, next chapter should be a fun one... Heh-heh.

Oh and Congrats to oxogreenappleoxo. Who won the fic request; I'm working on it now.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: Oooops… So this may have taken a wee bit longer than I intended. Enjoy peeps!

* * *

><p><span>April Fools<span>

Chapter Ten: Midnight Revelations

* * *

><p>Iruka slammed the door to his apartment shut with all of his strength making it rattle in the hinges. He was still mightily annoyed even if he was having some difficulty explaining <em>exactly <em>why.

_Denial isn't attractive. _His brain rather unhelpfully supplied.

Ignoring his mutinous thoughts the brunette moved to the kitchen and began to boil some water, hoping that a cup of tea would help soothe his mind. He slipped into a familiar routine preparing the tea leaves and let his thoughts settle on the task rather than on the rather strange day he had just been privy to.

Within a few minutes Iruka had a steaming cup of chamomile tea in hand and was sitting comfortably on his couch, feet propped up on a footstool. He breathed in the slightly sweet aroma and felt his body, rather reluctantly, start to unwind.

He still couldn't quite decide if his little prank had been worth all this hassle.

At first it had been absolutely hilarious to see Hatake blushing like a school-girl and totally out of his depth, but the more the day had worn on and the more Iruka had gotten to actually _talk _to Kakashi the more awkward and guilty he'd felt.

It really sucked to have a conscience sometimes.

Because underneath all the cruel remarks and teasing the Jounin was actually a _nice _person as much as he was loathe to admit it and that made the big, six-four thousand ryo question _why_? Why did Kakashi act like that with him when he was perfectly capable of being civil and dare he say it _pleasant _with him? He'd more than proved that over the course of the day.

Realizing that his thoughts were circling back on themselves Iruka took a long sip of his tea and took a long deep breath, cursing quietly under his breath.

It was at this moment that there came a tentative knock at his front door.

Eyebrows raised in surprise the Chuunin just stared at the wooden barrier, wondering just who on earth would be calling at his home. When the second equally tentative knock sounded the brunette rather reluctantly set aside his cup of tea and moved to the door still somewhat befuddled. He opened the door slowly and instantly regretted it because there stood in front of him, thoroughly soaked and shivering was Kakashi. It didn't take much to school his face into a look of surprise, most of it was genuine, it was much harder however to keep the annoyance out of his voice.

"Leiko-san, what are you doing here?"

Kakashi fidgeted on the spot, failing miserably in hiding his discomfort and embarrassment.

"Um... It seems Hokage-sama messed up my accommodation and Um... I was wondering if I could crash here as you're the only person I really know..."

Iruka's brows furrowed in confusion as Kakashi continued to ramble, why hadn't Kakashi gone to his own home? Then as he thought about it a little more he came to a startling conclusion.

_He can't... I bet he uses his chakra as a key and since it's sealed... _

The brunette couldn't quite resist the mental happy dance at that small victory but it was quickly quashed as he took in the silver-haired woman's sodden state.

"Come in."

The Jounin stared at him wide eyed as if almost disbelieving at actually hearing the words.

"R-really?"

Iruka rolled his eyes and pulled the door wide open to accentuate his point, almost daring the other man to argue.

"Get in here before you let all the heat out."

Kakashi didn't argue and moved as quickly as he could into the small apartment, arms wrapped around his shaking body. Behind him the brunette shut the door and quickly moved to the kitchen, clicking on the kettle and pointedly looking anywhere but Kakashi.

"The bathroom is the first door on the left Leiko-san, I'd advise a hot shower before you get sick."

The Jounin stared at Iruka and noticing the tension in his body sighed, it seemed that he was still pissed at him. Not wanting to wear out his welcome Kakashi scarpered for the bathroom, grateful that the brunette had even let him in, in the first place.

Iruka watched his guest practically flee to the bathroom and just about controlled the urge to bang his head against cupboard door. Honestly was karma out to get him today? What had he done (besides the obvious) to deserve such a horrendous run of luck?

Sighing he threw the used tea-leaves in the bin and cleaned out the pot, using the monotony to keep his mind away from the person in his bathroom with little success. It was actually quite alarming how easily the silver-haired Jounin could shanghai his thoughts and Iruka frowned deeply.

"I-Iruka-san."

Leiko's voice echoed through the apartment even though it was quiet.

"Yes Leiko-san."

There was some hesitant shuffling from behind the bathroom door.

"Um... My clothes are soaked; do you have anything I can wear?"

Iruka's brain screeched to a halt then promptly plummeted into the gutter as the words hit home. Kakashi... _Leiko _was naked behind his bathroom door. He felt a weird tingling in his stomach at the thought, face flushing slightly as he retrieved a spare uniform from his bedroom and left them in a small heap.

"Uh... Yeah, they may be a little big though, they're outside the door."

The brunette quickly retreated to the safety of the lounge and began fiddling with his couch. If someone had asked him when he'd bought the rickety old sofa-bed just who exactly he'd planned on having sleep over Hatake Kakashi wouldn't have even featured but it seemed fate had other plans.

_You really should stop being so fatalistic. _

Ignoring the little voice, which sounded suspiciously like Naruto, in the back of his head (Something he'd gotten quite apt at over the course of the day) Iruka continued to make up the sofa-bed, completely oblivious to anything going around him. That was why mere minutes later he jumped a foot in the air when a voice sounded behind him.

"Is that an invitation Iruka-san?"

The brunette blushed madly and spun around a denial primed and ready on his lips but stopped dead when his eyes fell on the owner of the voice. Apparently being in something resembling normal attire had done wonders for Kakashi's confidence and she shot him a wicked grin. The retort was still on his lips but Iruka couldn't force the words out, he'd been struck dumb by seeing Kakashi in _his _clothes. There was something small part of him that was utterly thrilled by the image before him and another, much larger part that was attempting to beat the smaller part into submission.

"Iruka-san? Are you okay? I was only joking there."

Suddenly realizing that he was being spoken too and being incredibly rude by gaping like a fool Iruka gave a small cough and scratched the back of his head nervously feeling incredibly awkward.

"Sorry Leiko-san… I kinda spaced out there."

Kakashi's grin fell into a sincere smile and the brunette felt his stomach twist unpleasantly.

"It's okay Iruka-san; it has been a somewhat tiring and unusual day."

_You have no idea just how unusual._ Was the thought that crossed both of their minds simultaneously although both of them were unaware of this fact.

Iruka nodded at the far too true statement and headed toward his previously discarded tea and picked it up taking a long drink from cup. It had gone lukewarm in the time it had taken to make up the sofa-bed but it still had the calming effect that the Chuunin sorely needed right at the moment. He drained the cup in one gulp allowing the herbal flavor to wash over his tongue. Kakashi watched him still somewhat concerned, he knew he shouldn't have made the wise crack but he just hadn't been able to resist and know he was fairly convinced he'd made the other man uncomfortable. He repressed a sigh and shook his head at the turned back of the brunette, it seemed that nothing wanted to go right today.

"Well goodnight then…."

The silver-haired man started at the sudden comment and looked intently at the uncomfortable figure before him.

"Goodnight?"

Wearied brown eyes met the uncovered grey.

"Yeah, like you said it's been a tiring day and I'm sure you need to get your rest."

Kakashi went to protest but was cut off by a body-wracking yawn and blushed in spite of himself, Iruka chuckled but it sounded hollow and didn't push the point the he had been right. Instead he turned wordlessly and headed toward his bedroom trying to ignore the piercing stare he could feel boring into his back. Finally making it to the sanctity of his room the brunette threw himself onto his bed and fought the urge to scream into his pillow in frustration at himself. He'd been cowardly making such a lame excuse and he knew it but having Kakashi in his _personal space_ had been just a bit too much for him to bear. He needed to relax himself and get to sleep otherwise the little demons he called students would eat him alive tomorrow but his mind just refused to shut off, firmly fixated on the situation. In a last ditch attempt he cast a sleep jutsu on himself and allowing the softness of the mattress to calm his mind Iruka quickly fell into a deep slumber.

* * *

><p>Iruka awoke feeling warm and somewhat fuzzy-brained, slowly opening his eyes he took in his surroundings and let out a small sigh.<p>

_Ah, a dream…_

Instead of being safely ensconced in his room he was laying on a starlit beach, horizon shadowed by the full moon. It was peaceful and calm and quite unlike what the brunette had actually expected his inner mindscape to be like. To be honest he wasn't quite sure what his frazzled mind could've cooked up but he was glad for the tranquility.

In the distance he could see a fire burning like a beacon on the desolate beach and slowly he stood and walked toward it, seeing as it was the logical thing to do. As the light grew brighter Iruka could see that there was a person sitting beside the fire and he stopped as he recognized the mop of shoulder-length silvery hair that had been burnished gold by the dancing flames.

_Leiko… Kakashi…_

What on earth was his brain playing at?

He'd fallen asleep to try and forget about what had happened during the day but it seemed that his rebellious psyche had other plans. He stared at the female incarnation of the Jounin and felt something tug in his stomach, Leiko looked so sad just sitting there by herself. Shaking his head Iruka plonked himself on the ground not wishing to play his fucked up minds little game.

"You should go and talk to her you know."

The brunette started in surprise and whipped his head around to find the source of the voice. His eyes widened as he spotted a lone figure perched atop a large rock that hadn't been there when he walked past minutes before. The distinctly male Kakashi raised an eyebrow, silently watching Iruka from his lookout and the Chuunin felt his temple begin to throb as he became even more confused.

"Why would I do that? You're the same person."

"Are we?"

Iruka thought about this for a moment and came to the rather startling conclusion that they were essentially the same person, just possibly different facets of Kakashi's personality. He locked eyes with the piercing mis-matched gaze determination and stubbornness rearing their heads.

"Yes you are."

There was a quirk of an eyebrow and the silver-haired Jounin jumped down from the rock and strode toward him, falling to the floor when he came close. Iruka felt something crawl up his spine and he pushed down the shudder as they came face to face.

"So why don't you like us both equally?"

The question stung more than Iruka cared to admit. He did like Leiko more than Kakashi but Leiko was Kakashi just a much more pleasant version.

"Leiko is… nicer, more pleasant. You, you just tease me all the time."

There was a flicker of hurt in the miss matched gaze.

"Have you thought about why I tease you? Like r_eally_ thought?"

Iruka frowned of course he had, Kakashi teased him to assert his superiority and generally be a jackass right?

Right?

As he looked at the Jounin he couldn't help but feel that he was missing something, some important part of the equation and the more he thought, the larger the niggling doubt became. Honestly Kakashi's behavior reminded him of his students, constantly attention seeking…

Iruka's brain screeched to a halt and he felt a flare of annoyance.

Kakashi was trying to get his attention?

For Kami's sake he was a grown man, not some child with a crush…

Oh fuck.

Mind officially reeling Iruka gaped, surely he had to have misread this? But the more he thought about it the more his brain was coming to the same conclusion. Kakashi _liked _ him and being the idiot Jounin, with zero emotional skills, that he was, was acting on his feelings in the only way he knew how. Seeing that Iruka seemed to have come to some kind of realization the dream Kakashi leant forward almost brushing his nose against Iruka's and smiled as the other man blushed furiously and drew away.

"Y-You can't… It's not possible…" The brunette stuttered, suddenly uncomfortable with the close proximity of the other man.

"Why not?" Kakashi asked glibly, leaning further forward to negate Iruka's retreat.

"Because… because…"

"That's not an answer Iruka…"

Iruka struggled to breathe, the Jounin was so close invading his personal space and loathe as he was to admit it he liked it. He liked the feeling of Kakashi's breath brushing teasingly across his face, liked the feeling of the large palm resting on his leg. His head was swimming and his heart was pounding and suddenly his mind became very, very clear as all the little pieces slammed rather forcefully into place. Their faces were so close, and he could see what he thought was desire swirling in Kakashi's eyes, and… and…

_BREEP. BREEP. BREEP._

Brown eyes flew open as the alarm blared and Iruka twisted and fell out of bed, cursing under his breath. Suddenly the remnants of his dream hit him full force and he felt his cheeks heat up in embarrassment as he let his head fall to the floor with a thunk.

He was screwed.

~End Chapter Ten~

A/N: And so the Iruka torture continues! Originally the 'dream sequence' was going to be smutty but I dunno… it just didn't feel right to put it in there *Shrugs* Leave us a review if you enjoyed or hated or whatever XD.


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Ugh my muse has totally died recently must be the time of the year... Bunnies apparently don't like the winter and go into hibernation T_T. Thanks as always to everyone you guys have been amazing.

April Fools:

Chapter Eleven: Bashful Breakfasts and Disastrous Dinner Dates.

Picking himself up from the floor the brunette slammed his fist down on the still wailing alarm instantly silencing it. He glared as the device creaked and groaned under the pressure before giving up completely and simply fell apart. Iruka bit back the sigh of exasperation and quickly fished out yet another replacement from his closet along with his clothes, wondering if he alone was single-handedly keeping the alarm company afloat with his destructive tendencies. Quickly dressing he set the new clock to the right time and steeled himself for facing Kakashi.

He walked, and repeat _did not_ sneak into the lounge afraid of waking his guest up and facing some of the 'awkwardness' that was rolling around in his brain. Instead he walked not snuck straight past the sofa-bed, not even acknowledging that anyone was there and headed straight for the kitchen with the intention of getting a good shot (or three) of caffeine. Iruka flicked on the kettle and stared hard at the appliance still at war with his thoughts. He knew he should banish the dream from his mind, it was just his psyche playing tricks on him after all but he couldn't quite bring himself to completely ignore the revelation it had revealed.

Because in a very, _very_ messed up way it kind of made sense.

The brunette pulled out a mug for himself and dumped a large amount of granulated coffee in then carefully added milk and sugar, knowing that he was going to need the energy to deal with the day. He briefly contemplated making himself a quick breakfast but realised that probably wasn't the wisest of idea's as he was pretty sure that he didn't have much in stock. A quick assessment of the cupboards revealed his assumption to be true; he literally had two eggs and some flour, not exactly a nutritious breakfast.

"Mmmm... Do I smell coffee?"

The sleepy voice caused Iruka to jump and spin around eyes wide with shock and a blush on his cheeks

"I... Um yeah. W-would you like some?"

_Oh Kami Iruka stop stuttering!_

The pale face brightened up at the offer of the holy beverage and the silver head bobbed enthusiastically. The brunette quickly grabbed another mug and dumped the granules in the receptacle.

"How do you take it?"

A silver brow arched "Black, no sugar."

Iruka pulled a face and poured the water into the mug handing it to Kakashi, who eagerly drank down the liquid not even stopping to blow on it. Again the brunette pulled a face but this time it was one of disbelief and took a carefully controlled sip of his coffee.

"Did you even taste any of that?"

Kakashi flashed a smile and shrugged placing the mug on the counter.

"So, breakfast?" Kakashi asked making a bee-line for the cabinets.

The Chuunin flushed as he watched the silver haired woman rummage through his bare cupboards and just about resisted the urge to flee into the lounge area. He watched as Kakashi searched the cupboards in vain, tutting and clucking like the mother-hen the Jounin always accused him of being.

"Don't you have anything in?"

Iruka shook his head and the silver-haired woman continued to cluck disapprovingly finally stopping when spotting the eggs and flour, a smile breaking out across the feminine features.

"I have an idea!"

The brunette didn't know whether to be afraid of that sentence or not, it often led to great triumphs or even greater disasters and it was hard to tell which way this would invariably go, especially considering the Jounin's confession the previous day. Kakashi however seemed to ignore Iruka's lack of enthusiasm and began the search for a mixing bowl, the promise of food spurring him on. Pulling out the small bowl he deftly cracked the eggs and began whisking with the skill of a gourmet chef, occasionally adding flour and milk until the three combined became a thick, gloopy mixture.

Iruka tried not to look put off by the mixture, it certainly didn't look appealling but he knew that even the nicest of foods start off in an unappealling state. Intrigued and interested in the whole process he watched in awe as the Jounin poured a ladelful of the mixture into a hot, spitting frying pan.

The wonderful aroma of cooking batter filled Iruka's nostrils and made his stomach grumble appreciatively. Kakashi smiled as he saw the appreciative look in the brunette's eyes and flipped the pancake like a professional, garnering himself a look of awe as he slid the finished product onto a plate, sprinkled some sugar and handed it to the Chuunin.

"Enjoy Iruka-san."

Hesitantly Iruka cut the pancake into small chunks and eyed them warily before popping one into his mouth. There was a moment where the silver-haired Jounin held his breath, hoping that Iruka would like his cooking and was richly rewarded when the brunette let out a small moan of pleasure. Iruka flushed, he hadn't intended for the noise to escape his lips but the pancake had been _sooooooo good. _ Far better than he'd expected in all honesty. Feeling the stormy eye trained on his person he flashed what he hoped was an easy smile, willing the blood away from his cheeks.

"This is really good Leiko-san."

The woman flushed slightly at the compliment.

"Thanks Iruka-san I don't cook very often, I don't really have anyone to do it for."

There was an odd melancholy mixed in with those words and it tugged at Iruka's heart-strings slightly. A sudden urge to reassure the Jounin overcame him and he moved forward to place a comforting hand on Kakashi's shoulder. Not expecting the sudden contact the Jounin's ninja instincts kicked in and he swung the ladel still clasped in his hand with as much force as he could, clonking Iruka in the chest and smearing batter all down his clothes.

"Oh my Kami I'm so sorry! You startled me and I just... I'm so sorry."

The brunette let out a weak chuckle and rubbed the sore spot on his chest, watching with amusement as his guest had a full blown panic attack. Mortification was etched across the blush speckled features as the woman hastily tried to clean the mess she had made of the Chuunin's clothes. Not even aware of where was being cleaned Kakashi just attacked the stain with a cloth and water it wasn't until Iruka let out a small 'eep' that the Jounin realised something was wrong.

He looked up and saw the almighty blush on Iruka's face and the wide brown eyes that were staring down at him. Following the Chuunin's gaze he took stock of _where _exactly his hand was and pulled away as though burned, face even redder than the brunette's.

_Nice one idiot! You try to helpful and end up inadvertently molesting him!_

Kakashi's brain was screaming obscenities at him as he continued to blush and stutter out apologies while Iruka merely coughed in an uncomfortable polite manner face still red as a tomato.

Awkward silence reigned supreme.

"So... Um... Class?"

The brunette spoke tentatively trying to ignore what had happened and not read to much into it. The Jounin nodded in return finding his voice to be mysteriously absent and quickly gathered the meagre belongings that he'd brought with him. Forever the gentleman Iruka held open the door and Kakashi walked out with only one thought crossing his mind.

_Today is going to be a __**long **__day..._

* * *

><p>Approximately nine hours later Kakashi's early morning thought had become an irritating reality. Although nowhere near as rambunctious as the previous day Iruka's class had been an utter bunch of horrors their attacks to 'protect Iruka-Sensei's chastity' (Where they'd learnt about <em>that <em>particular concept the Jounin didn't want to know, damn crazy Inuzuka's) had become much more subtle and discreet. He was fairly convinced that the brunette had noticed the dirty looks and muttered comments but for whatever reason had decided to ignore them, probably revenge for the morning.

So when the final bell for the day rang Kakashi was understandably relieved.

The children filed out bidding a fond farewell to their Sensei and leaving the two adults alone in the classroom. The pair had barely spoken since the 'incident' in Iruka's apartment both of them to embarrassed to acknowledge what was lurking beyond what had happened, the Jounin because of the fear of being rejected and the Chuunin because of a volatile combination of confusion and denial. They looked at one another awkwardness rife in the air around them and Iruka just snapped not being able to take it anymore.

"For Kami's sake we're acting worse than my students."

His tone was exasperated but there was a faint, genuine smile on his face. If you had asked the brunette two days ago his opinion on a silent Hatake Kakashi he would have been all for it but now after actually spending some quality time with the Jounin he found the silence insufferable and it grated across his nerves.

The silver-haired woman snorted softly, feeling the tension simply melt away as the smile on Iruka's face widened.

"I guess so... Although sometimes I do wonder if that's not normal."

A silver brow rose teasingly and the brunette laughed.

"Okay you got me... But what do you expect from someone whose life revolves around brats, both big and small?"

Kakashi flashed a crooked smile and shrugged before gathering together his belongings, watching while Iruka finished closing up the classroom for the weekend. When he had finished the two of them walked out of the academy a comfortable silence stretching between them.

"Leeeeiko-Chan! There you are!"

Both Kakashi and Iruka stopped dead at that voice and the Jounin unconsciously scooted closer to the brunette, neither of them wanting to deal with the smug, arrogant owner of the voice. There was a moment of silent communication before the two of them started moving again ignoring their persuer. It appeared that their unwelcome visitor however was not someone to give up easily and within a few minutes a flushed, lightly panting Kensei had caught up with them, pushing his way between Kakashi and Iruka.

"Leiko-chan, you're looking as radiant as ever."

The silver-haired woman could have sworn that he heard Iruka growl but since the slab that was Kensei was blocking his view he couldn't really be sure. Discomfort squirmed through Kakashi's gut and he wrung his hands together. Kensei smiled in a sickening manner, mistaking the gesture for another emotion entirely.

"Hey Leiko-chan, you didn't forget about our dinner meeting did you?"

Kakashi's eyes went wide as the tall blonde slipped an arm around his shoulders and it took everything the Jounin had not to flinch away in revulsion. He had a feeling that it would end up favorably if he did.

"I... Um..."

Kensei continued to smile his disturbing smile.

"You weren't trying to escape were you?"

"Er... Um..."

The blonde chuckled and tightened his grip on Kakashi's shoulder causing the Jounin to wince slightly.

"Well lets get going then, I'm sure your _guide _won't mind us scooting off now would he."

The silver-haired woman felt the anger radiating from Iruka in waves at the obvious derision in the actors voice and Kakashi knew that he had to move quickly in order to avert a catastrophe. He spun around so that he was in front of Kensei and shot a warning look in Iruka's direction, the brunette bristled briefly before deflating entirely and Kakashi couldn't control the pang in his chest at the utterly defeated look on the Sensei's face. Kensei however looked delighted at the change of positions and tried to slip his hand down on to 'Leiko's' waist eliciting a sharp glare from Kakashi.

"I'm sure Iruka-san won't mind he's a busy man after all..." Here he looked the brunette straight in the eyes "... Always running the 118...*"

The blonde looked confused at the odd choice of wording but Iruka knew exactly what Kakashi was saying.

_'Leave this idiot to me.'_

He was thankful that the lug beside him was merely a civilian and not privy to a ninja's many secret codes and ciphers. It however didn't mean he was any happier with the situation and he let them both know with the scowl on his face. Kakashi sighed and gave a slight nod silently agreeing with Iruka's feelings and then turned his attention back to Kensei a fake grin plasteted across his face.

"Shall we go Kensei-san?"

The blonde beamed with that sickening smile and rapidly began pulling Kakashi along the road but not before flicking an obscene gesture back at the Chuunin in a clear display of what the blonde had mistaken to be _his _victory. Iruka caught sight of the gesture and bristled again but decided against kicking the guys ass (mainly because it was kind of illegal for a ninja to attack an unsanctioned civilian.) Instead he just ground his teeth together and walked away trying to ignore the squirming feeling in his gut. The Jounin sighed in relief as he watched Iruka walk away, shoulders slumped and body stiff with anger at least now he could deal with this idiot without interruption.

Kakashi flashed a warm, fake smile at Kensei, which the buffoon mirrored.

"So Kensei-san, what did you have in mind?"

* * *

><p>It turned out that Kensei only had one thing on his mind; himself. Never had Kakashi met anyone who was more narcisistic and self involved than Kensei Akihito and that was <em>really <em>saying something considering some of the people he knew. He must have literally gotten two words in inbetween each of the actors monologues, each more boring than the previous. But, he nodded politely (as was expected of him) as the man rambled on and on as his mind slipped into a state that he usually saved for when he was being tortured. Casually Kakashi sipped the sake that was being liberally provided silently wishing that this excruciating dinner was over.

Kensei however seemed oblivious to 'Leiko's' apparent boredom and appeared to be enjoying himself thoroughly eating and drinking and talking to his hearts content.

"So... What brings you to the village Leiko-san?"

_Kami, he was being allowed to speak? Would wonders never cease? _

"I had some business with Tsunade-sama."

Kensei nodded in a placating manner pouring sake from a fresh bottle into Kakashi's cup. The Jounin quickly gulped it down suddenly really not in the mood for idle banter, he just wanted this to be over now.

"Anything you can share about it?" The blonde asked innocently, swirling the sake around his own cup.

Kakashi narrowed his eyes and went to retort but suddenly found his tongue being very disobedient, lolling around in his mouth. Horror began to flood the silver-haired man's veins as he realised just what had happened and he tried to push himself away from the conniving bastard.

"Leiko-san are you alright?" The false concern oozed from every word.

_No I'm not alright you son of a bitch! You fucking drugged me! _

Was what Kakashi wanted to say but all that escaped his lips were a few inarticulate moans. Under normal circumstances the drug he'd been slipped wouldn't have even effected him, his chakra would have metabolised it into his system without any fuss.

But without his chakra... He was a sitting duck.

Vaguely he felt an arm slip around his waist and looked up through bleary eyes at Kensei, whose features were still schooled into innocence and tried to push out of his grip. The blonde however was having none of it and pulled Kakashi to his feet.

"Looks like you've had a little to much Leiko-san, perhaps I should get you home?"

Fear and hatred like the silver-haired man had never known flooded his veins as he was dragged from the table and he shot a scathing look at Kensei as he tried his best to fight the man off to no avail. He swore to himself that the second this ridiculous prank had ended he was going to kill this fucker and anyone who had been associated with his sickening plot. Vaguely Kakashi wondered how many had fallen prey to the man's charms and then quickly struck it from his mind, the thought making his stomach churn in disgust.

As his body betrayed him and succumbed further to the drug the only thing that crossed Kakashi's mind was; _Iruka will never forgive himself for leaving me alone with him. _

~End Chapter Eleven~

*118 is an advertising campaign in the UK for a directory inquires service. The ad's are pretty amusing, I have no idea why I used this as a reference... -_-*

A/N: Dun, dun duuuuuun. Insert cliffhanger here! Yes I know, I'm evil *Dodges the rotten fruit being thrown* But it's me what do you expect!?

Reviews are love and shall be rewarded XD.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Wow! Last chapter caused a lot of sympathy toward Kakashi so I thought I'd better get this written quickly so I didn't incur the wrath of you readers XD. Thank you so, so much to everyone who has been reading this. YOU ARE ALL AWESOME!

Warning: MAJOR WARNING HERE: THERE IS ATTEMPTED RAPE IN THIS CHAPTER YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. I DON'T CONDONE IT AND AM ONLY USING IT FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT, SO NO LIKEY, NO READ, OK? Otherwise it is just the usual warnings.

April Fools

Chapter Twelve: Are You A Knight In Shining Armor?

Kakashi felt the world spin as his heated face hit the cold night air, the drugs and alcohol still running rampant through his body. He was still trying to fight the affects of whatever Kensei had given him but without chakra to aid him it was a pretty much futile effort. Beside him the blonde bastard was grinning diabolically, practically dragging Kakashi along the streets and away from civilization.

This was bad.

This was _really fucking bad_.

Feebly he fought against the strong grip holding him but Kakashi's body was no longer responding to even the smallest command, it was frustrating and dare he say it terrifying. Finally as if sensing that they had covered enough distance Kensei detoured into a small alleyway and pushed Kakashi against the wall. The Jounin grunted as his back collided with the cold stone wall, the air being knocked from his lungs with brutal force and the blonde closed in covering Kakashi's mouth with his own.

The kiss was harsh and brutal everything he had come to expect from the slime ball, revulsion, disgust and a number of other nameless emotions filtering through his overwhelmed mind. Kakashi felt dirty and tried to will his body into moving, into doing something remotely useful but still in remained unresponsive. Kensei continued to work his hands moving up his prey's body stroking, teasing and generally trying to cop as much of a feel as he possibly he could. He pulled away from the woman caught in his snare and grinned sadistically licking his lips.

"Mmmm… You taste like strawberries."

Kakashi felt himself balk at the slick tone and just spat the bile out on the man's expensive looking clothing not feeling the least bit guilty. The look on Kensei's face changed immediately, the slightly twisted smile fell from in his face and turned into a snarl his eyes flashing dangerously. Before the Jounin was even able to comprehend the movement, the blond had drawn his hand back and walloped Kakashi across the face, hard. Unable to support himself Kakashi had gone flying to the floor landing heavily on his side and feeling the bones in his arm crack violently.

"You bitch! Do you have any idea how _much _this outfit cost?"

Kensei stalked over to the downed woman and flipped her onto her back before straddling the slim hips. Kakashi felt his heart begin to beat double time in his chest as the weight of the blond pushed down on his body causing the breath to constrict in his chest.

"You thought you were so clever you thought you could humiliate me, _ME_. Well I've got news for you; I'm a winner I _never _lose."

He lent backwards and began searching through his pockets allowing the Jounin to steal a gulp of air. At this point Kakashi had accepted that he was screwed, there was no cavalry coming to save him and that thought hurt. Never before had he felt so helpless or alone and it made him want to curl up in a ball and die. Apparently finding what he'd been looking for Kensei smiled sickeningly and flicked out the sharp end of the pocket switch-blade he'd withdrawn from his pocket. With a practiced ease he slid the knife into the top part of Kakashi's outfit and pulled it downwards, the sharp edge cutting through the fabric like butter.

The Jounin managed to hold back the flinch as the cool night air ghosted across his exposed flesh. Kensei put the knife down beside him and yanked the separate sections of the top apart, that sick smile still on his face as he stared at the pale flesh. He ran his hands down over Kakashi's chest watching the reactions carefully and tweaked a nipple to erectness. The Jounin fumed silently and let his mind slip into another place where he could block out what was happening and his whole body seemed to just still and become lifeless. He usually reserved this state of mind for when he was being tortured but admittedly it had been a long time since _that_ had happened but it still apparently had its uses.

Kensei watched as the woman beneath him just shut off and a look of anger crossed his face, she wasn't supposed to be blank like that, _she_ was supposed to be writhing full of fear and pain. Frustrated he raised his hand and slapped the prone woman hard across the face again but still he received no reaction from the woman. He let out a snarl eyes flashing with a hint of madness as he picked up the discarded switch-blade and looked at the shiny metal thoughtfully.

"That won't work you bitch… I'll make you pay attention."

The blonde drew back his arm and plunged the knife down with all his might toward Kakashi's abdomen, the insanity in his eyes shining as brightly as the swiftly moving blade. There was a brief second where everything seemed to come to a complete halt and ten there was whisper of a breeze and the flickering of shadow and everything sped up again. The blood-haze seemed to lift from Kensei's mind and he immediately focused on his situation. He looked down at his arm to see that it hadn't succeeded in piercing the annoying woman, however more worrying was the hand wrapped around his wrist holding the knife mere centimeters away from the bitch's stomach. Wide blue eyes followed the curve of the arm and shoulder, up past a tanned scarred face and finally rose to meet furious brown eyes.

Damn, the fucking teacher had caught him.

"I think you should give me the knife Akihito-san." Iruka's voice was cold and held no hint of mercy.

Kensei felt a sneer on his lips as he tried to pull his captured hand away. Iruka however was having none of this and tightened his grip around the appendage feeling completely vindicated as the bones let out an almighty crack. He had absolutely no sympathy, empathy or patience for Kensei, he had after all almost committed one of the greatest sins you can and against someone who was completely helpless to stop him. It made the brunette feel sick that someone would prey on someone like that and the fact that it was _his_ fault for Kakashi being so helpless was like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach. All he'd wanted was to teach the man a lesson but he'd almost gotten the Jounin killed, why did he never learn _his _lesson and just leave people alone

"And what if I don't Sensei?" The blonde's tone was mocking.

Iruka snapped out of his thoughts and gave the man beneath him a stern, unyielding look, focusing all his anger and self-loathing on this worm of a man.

"Then I will make you."

The blonde seemed to weigh up his options and then before the brunette could react swung his free fist toward Iruka's face. The movement although quick to Kensei was hopelessly slow and sluggish to a trained Chuunin, without any real effort Iruka dodged the incoming blow and used the man's momentum to haul him up and away from Kakashi. As Kensei moved Iruka twisted the wrist he still had tight hold of causing it to crack and snap. The blonde let out a scream of pain and let go of the knife sending it clattering to the floor, wrenching his arm from the brunette's grasp. The Chuunin moved quickly and kicked the knife out of reach before turning his attention back to the sick son of a bitch. Kensei was standing huddled against the wall clutching his broken wrist when suddenly the blue eyes looked up and Iruka could see the angry haze returning. With a bellow like a wounded animal the blonde charged forward and Iruka, calm as anything swept into a roundhouse kick sending the man flying into the wall with enough force to knock him out cold.

The brunette tutted as the other man slumped to the floor unconscious. He'd let Kensei off far too lightly in his opinion but it wasn't his place to enforce justice; although he was very curious to know just what the Hokage would have in store for the blonde, she was well known for her vicious punishments.

After ensuring that Kensei was indeed unconscious the brunette quickly turned his attention to the downed Jounin. Iruka knelt by Kakashi's side and pulled the shreds of cloth together allowing him at least that small amount of dignity and softly called out.

"Leiko, Leiko-san, can you hear me?..."

Through the rapidly clearing fog of the drugs Kakashi could hear a familiar, soothing voice and felt relief erupt in his chest. He blinked a few times to try and focus his vision and confirm that no, he wasn't hearing things and it was indeed Iruka sat by his side.

"I...Ru..."

Those few syllables were all he could manage even though he could feel the drugs starting to wear off, it appeared Kensei had vastly overestimated their potency as the way he'd been talking Kakashi thought they would've lasted for hours. But they were enough relief, sheer blessed relief crossed the brunette's face and he subconsciously gripped hold of the pale hand.

"It's me... Fuck this is all my fault, I'm so sorry... I should've been here sooner."

The Jounin felt his heart ache as the words tumbled from Iruka's lips; the brunette had nothing to be sorry for he'd just saved him from that scum bag. Mustering every ounce of his strength he rose his free hand and placed the tips of his fingers across Iruka's lip effectively silencing the other man.

"S'Okay... Not your... Fault... Saved me..."

Kakashi noticed that the Chuunin still looked troubled, he let his hand slip down and catch on the neckline of Iruka's shirt and taking a 'hey you only live' once kind of outlook he pulled the man's face closer to his own. Iruka was still reeling from the feel of Kakashi fingers ghosting across his lips so was therefore woefully unprepared for the sharp tug forward, his head dipped down and his eyes went wide as a soft pair of lips collided with his own.

This kiss was everything and nothing Kakashi had imagined, the brunette's lips trembled beneath his own and he could see the wide, shocked look in the darkening brown eyes. Iruka felt his whole body still and his mind implode on itself as Kakashi kissed him, the answer he'd been desperately searching for suddenly laid out right before his eyes. The Jounin wasn't the kind of person who gave out his affections in gratitude, he didn't generally show affection full stop but here he was trying to kiss the living daylights out of him.

It was glorious.

It was so very wrong.

Kakashi still believed that Iruka thought he was Leiko (man was _that _a mouthful) and was taking advantage of this fact but the brunette didn't want to be kissing Leiko, he wanted to be kissing Kakashi.

Therefore he had to release the Jutsu.

Iruka knew that this decision was big and he knew that it could turn out horribly for him but things had already gotten _way _out of hand and it was time to put an end to this. Lips still locked he snaked his hand around the Jounin's back and placed his hand between the man's shoulder-blades. Sucking in a breath through his nose he channeled a small amount of chakra into his palm and pushed it into the tag he could feel stuck there waiting for the inevitable pop. It took a few seconds but the brunette felt the henge release and pulled away waiting for Kakashi's reaction.

There was a strange moment of silence as the two men just stared at one another and then Kakashi groaned and arched as the seal on his chakra was released. After not feeling it for what felt like an eternity the sudden rush of chakra felt like the world's best orgasm to the Jounin and he couldn't help but moan in appreciation. He blinked through dazed eyes at the brunette who was still perched over him with an odd look on his face.

"I'm sorry Kakashi..."

Iruka whispered and lent forward to press a quick kiss against his lips before flashing through the hand-signs for a teleportation jutsu and disappearing, leaving a thoroughly confused Copy-nin lying on the floor in slightly too small clothes.

Just what was going on here?

How had he changed back?

And he knew he'd changed back, he'd caught sight of himself in the metal of Iruka's hitai-ate as the man had moved in to kiss him.

_"I'm sorry Kakashi..."_

Those three words echoed through the Jounin's mind, what did Iruka have to be sorry for... Unless... Suddenly the pieces all slotted together and Kakashi felt like a complete moron for not spotting the obvious sooner.

Iruka was the one behind this.

Anger flooded through the Copy-nin's body, white hot and blazing but it was quickly doused by the cold numbing feeling of betrayal.

Iruka had done _this_.

Iruka had toyed with him, dragged him along and put in him in situations knowing full well who he really was. Had tricked Kakashi into letting his guard down and showing a little bit of his real self to the brunette. Had allowed him to kiss him just to get his revenge.

Kakashi wanted to cry, something he would never usually admit to but he felt he was warranted in this respect. After all it wasn't every day someone you thought you may be a little bit in love with breaks your heart. Picking himself up from the ground Kakashi flicked through the hand-signs for his own teleportation jutsu and vanished from sight.

He needed to be alone.

*End Chapter 12*

A/N: Uh Oooops. I totally didn't mean to leave it hanging so heavy… On the plus point there is only a few chapters left YAY so you'll soon be rid of my character abusing ways lol. REVIEWS ARE GOOD… just thought you should know *Winks*.


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